Bad Friends II
Written by: Nessa
Recently I have been advertising via my signature for interviews. One of the topics was Bad Friends. Apricus, Kyra, Tymaporer, and PuddingofEvil all PMed me to participate.
Last time you read about Apricus and Kyra; this time you’ll get to hear from Tymaporer and PuddingofEvil.
Whats the worst thing a good friend has done to you?
:Tymaporer:
Well, there's the talent show thing... Basically, I asked if I could be in the school talent show with them, and they said okay, then later on I asked about it, and they're like, "Huh? We never said you could be in it with us."
::PuddingofEvil::
She and a couple of popular girls threw a big party on my eleventh birthday. I wasn't invited.
Did he or she show any remorse or apologize?
:Tymaporer:
No. They just acted like it never happened. Then I brought it up again, and they got all offended.
::PuddingofEvil::
Well, I mentioned it to her a few months back, and this girl seemed pretty embarrassed by the whole thing. At any rate, it has been almost six years, but she never apologized.
Are you still friends with this person today?
:Tymaporer:
No. There wasn't a big dramatic blowup or anything. I just stopped talking to them. I love my wide singing range... it enabled me to switch to soprano in chorus (they're altos).
::PuddingofEvil::
No, we're not friends, but I don't hate her. I do occasionally talk to her, but we aren't close anymore.
How has this changed you?
:Tymaporer:
I think I've become more paranoid. I try not to trust people anymore. I also shake and cover my ears whenever I hear that song, and I guess that counts as a change, because I didn’t used to. Oh smurf, now it’s stuck in my head! *hums Jeopardy theme song*
::PuddingofEvil::
It made me realize that a friendship could end. I don't take my friendships for granted like I used to. Her actions led me to be a better friend, because I didn't want to lose the others.
Would you say you're more cynical or protective of yourself?
:Tymaporer:
As I said, I try not to trust people. I can never be sure if someone actually likes me or not. Everyone always says that’s not a good way to think, but optimists get hurt, you know?
::PuddingofEvil::
Certainly, but a little of that can be a good thing.
Are you stronger or a better person now?
:Tymaporer:
It depends on how you look at it. I'm not a better person, but I wouldn't say I'm any worse either. Some people would disagree. I'm stronger, but it could be the wrong kind of strength.
::PuddingofEvil::
I'd like to think so. Once the whole thing stopped being so painful, I saw how ridiculous all of the cliques and in-fighting were. I stopped allowing the opinions of some silly little girls to dictate my emotions, wardrobe, and attitude. Life was so much more pleasant after that.
What are some words of advice you can give to other PPTers about being good friends or who might've been through something just as hurtful as you?
:Tymaporer:
If you want to be a good friend, don’t do what these girls did. Keep your promises, and don’t exclude people unless you have to (and when you do, make sure it’s not always the same person). If this has happened to you, I guess this is my advice: try not to cling to her/him/them. Let them go, and try to find people who would include you. (Hint: if someone seems majorly cliquey, stay away.)
::PuddingofEvil::
To be a good friend, you have to stop and think about whether your actions will be hurtful to people you care about. Then you must actually pay attention to what your instincts are telling you.
There are too many nice people in the world to waste your time with jerks. Don't stick around with toxic friends just because they were kind once. You deserve so much better than that.
As a sidenote, I recommend Rachel Simmons's book Odd Girl Out.
Thank you Tymaporer and PuddingofEvil for your time and input. It’s appreciated and hopefully we can all learn from your experiences. 'Til next time - nessa
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