Thanksgiving With PI
Written by: Caesara
Thanksgiving with PI
Author's Note: This is based on the American holiday of Thanksgiving, so if you live elsewhere it may not make sense. Happy reading anyway.
Cast
...Alex
Alex
Ammer
Apricus
Ayse
Caesara
Dawn
Frankie
Hunter Lupe
Igg
Inrun
Ixistant
Kim
Koku
Lady Night
Lillie
Sock
Spira
Starchaser
Teddymon
Xil
Yoshi
Scene I
It is the eve of Thanksgiving, around four in the afternoon. Instead of working at their desks like they usually are, the staff is all gathered around the noticeboard, with the notable exception of Caesara, Yoshi, and Hunter Lupe. The sheet they are staring at says the following:
All staff are invited to the PI Thanksgiving Dinner! It will be hosted at Caesara's house. Please bring a dish for the dinner!
There are lines under the message, where the staff can put their names and what dish they are bringing. The staff are very excited at the prospect of a dinner party, and begin conversing in loud tones.
Sock: I'm going to bring sock cake!
...Alex: Sock cake? What's that?
Sock: It's a cake in the shape of a sock!
...Alex: Right, I knew that!
Frankie: I'll bring the gravy! (He tries to write "gravy" on the line by his name, but he is shoved out of the way by Teddymon, who quickly writes "gravy" by his own name)
Teddymon: HAH! I shall bring the gravy!
Frankie: You cheater! I WANT TO BRING THE GRAVY!
The two start fighting in the middle of the room. Everyone else ignores them, as they are deciding what they wish to bring to the party.
Apricus: I'm going to bring soda! Lots and lots of soda!
Xil: What if I don't want soda? What if I want water?
Apricus: Bring your own stinking water then! See if I care! She stalks off, huffing.
At this point, Yoshi comes down out of his office.
Yoshi: Alright folks, time to pack up and head 'em on out. See you at the party, it's at 6 sharp! Be there or be maroon!
Yoshi leaves the building, whistling merrily.
Frankie and Teddymon finally stop fighting, after numerous bruises and a few scrapes. They've worked out a solution; they would both bring different kinds of gravy. Frankie was to bring chicken gravy, teddymon turkey gravy. Neither had heard of chicken gravy before, but since Frankie liked chicken that was what he was going to bring. About an hour after the staff had left, Caesara came down out of her office. She has headphones on, with loud music that sounds like the song "A Horse With No Name" blaring out of them. She skips down the steps, and turns out the lights, then locks the door and leaves.
Scene II
It is five minutes to 6, and the staff are gathering up around Caesara's front door. They've rung the doorbell many times, and have peered through the windows, yet Caesara continues to just sit there and stare at something. They can't see what, however, as it is at an odd angle and the wall is in the line of sight. They've tried all the doors; all of them are locked.
Igg: Argh! Somebody break through the window!
Inrun: Let's go buy some paint and doodle on the sides of her house!
Lady Night: I say we go steal Fyora's staff and blast our way through the door!
Yoshi: Why don't I just call her?
Yoshi whips out his cellphone, and begins dialing. The staff grumble, having liked Igg, Inrun, and Lady Night's suggestions better. They can all hear Caesara's phone ringing from the inside of her house. She blinks suddenly, then answers it.
Caesara: Hello?
Yoshi: Open the door already!
Caesara: ...Wha? What door?
Yoshi: Your front door! (He walks up to the door and bangs on it.)
Caesara: Oops.
She hangs up the phone, and goes to unlock the door. As the staffers glare at her, she quickly ushers them in.
Caesara: Sorry about that folks. There's a big table in the room down the hall where you can stash the food for now.
Sock: I brought my sock cake! She holds up an obscure, sock-shaped cake.
Spira: Sock, your cake doesn't have stripes!
Sock: (She gasps) Ohmygosh it doesn't!
Spira: Here!
Spira takes out a can of cheese-whiz and quickly sprays stripes on Sock's cake.
Sock: Perfect!
Frankie and Teddymon: We brought the gravy!
Caesara: Dawn, what'd you bring?
Dawn: (dreamily) I brought cranberry sauce... I tasted it; it's good...
Kim: Are you okay, Dawn? She waves a hand in front of Dawn's face. Dawn doesn't respond. Dawn? Daawwwnn. ... I think I'll try that cranberry sauce...
Kim tastes the sauce, and immediately goes into the same dream-like state that Dawn is in. Nobody notices yet; however.
Ayse: Don't you all like my pudding?!
Ayse goes around, shoving her bowl of pudding in people's faces, obnoxiously.
Ammer: Err. Very nice pudding, Ayse...
Ayse: Oh, what glee!
Lillie: Hey, where'd Kim go? I want to show her the chef salad I made...
Lillie goes about trying to find Kim. Unsuccessful; she recruits Starchaser to help her. They finally find Kim, along with Dawn, in a corner, staring dreamily at Dawn's cranberry sauce.
Starchaser: OOH! Cranberry sauce! I WANT SOME!
Starchaser stuffs her face with cranberry sauce, and goes into the trance.
Lillie: Gasp! Oh, what horrors! Ohmygosh I have to find Yoshi!
Lillie rushes off to find Yoshi, who is gorging himself on the M&M's he brought.
Yoshi: Mmph?
Lillie: Starchaser! Dawn! Kim! In trance! Come! Now!
Yoshi: MMPH!
He spits out the M&M's on the floor, and hurries off after Starchaser. Meanwhile...
Ixistant: I'm bored.
Koku: TV... TV gooooood. She drools.
Ixistant grabs the remote and turns on the TV, much to Koku's delight. They both stare at the TV, mesmerized.
Caesara: Alright folks, TIME TO EAT!
She motions for the staff to follow her as she walks into the room where they had originally placed the food. Somehow, Caesara manages to miss the fact that half of the PIers are missing, as she is distracted by Frankie and Teddymon arguing about which of their gravies should be placed on the right....
Meanwhile...
Yoshi: What did you feed them?! They're like zombies!
Lillie: Don't look at me!
Yoshi looks at Lillie.
Yoshi: Uhm. Well. We have to get them into the dining room or Cae'll figure out something's wrong and I'll probably get yelled for it and-
Lillie cuts him off.
Lillie: Your run-on sentence is scaring me.
Yoshi: Sorry.
Lillie: Why don't we make them into puppets of sorts?
Yoshi: I hate puppets. They're SCARY! SCARY I TELL YOU!
Yoshi goes into a fit of spasms, fear stretched across his face.
Lillie: Err. She blinks. Or... not...
Meanwhile...
Caesara has finally gotten the PI-ers to sit down at the table. Frankie and Teddymon have been placed at opposite ends, so that they will quit fighting. This is rather unsuccessful, however...
Frankie: MY GRAVY IS BETTER THAN YOUR GRAVY!
Teddymon: MY GRAVY CAN KICK YOUR GRAVY'S BUTT ANYDAY!
Frankie: CANNOT!
Teddymon: CAN TOO!
At this point, Frankie scoops some mashed potatoes on his spork, and flings them at Teddymon. They land on his nose. Teddymon, enraged, flings a sporkful of peas at Frankie. No one is able to figure out why they are using sporks instead of spoons and forks, but a food fight is soon in the making. Caesara, bewildered, stares at them.
Caesara: I knew I should have went with the catering...
It is then that she notices that Koku and Ixistant are missing...
Caesara: Koku and Ixistant are missing! I wonder where they went...
She leaves the table in an investigation of the two. Finding them staring at the TV, she drags them into the dining room and shoves them into chairs. They immediately brighten up and begin flinging food at various PI-ers.
Koku: HAHA! TAKE THAT YOU EVIL FIEND!
Hunter Lupe: Hey! I don't like stuffing!
Koku: (smug) Well have some more! She flings more stuffing at Hunter.
Hunter, irritated, begins devising a complicated and very technical plan to get revenge on Koku. He begins muttering under his breath, in some obscure language no one can comprehend. Meanwhile, Caesara notices again that they are missing a few PI-ers.
Caesara: Great! Now Yoshi, Lillie, Dawn, Kim, and Starchaser are all gone! Now where could they have gotten off to?
Meanwhile... again...
Yoshi and Lillie are occupying themselves by calling the nuclear waste plant and trying to figure out what is wrong with Dawn's cranberry sauce, while trying not to get any on themselves. This is rather hard, as Yoshi has accidentally spilled the jar down his front....
Lillie: Clumsy oaf!
Nuclear Plant Man: Excuse me?
Lillie: Oh, not you. Yoshi.
Yoshi: Hey!
At this point, Caesara walks into the room. She blinks. Yoshi and Lillie are at the telephone, Yoshi with cranberry sauce down his front. Starchaser, Dawn, and Kim are staring into space over in the corner.
Caesara: Dare I ask what's going on?
Yoshi: Please don't?
Lillie: (In one breath) Starchaserkimanddawnatedawn'scranberrysauceandareinatranceandwedon'tknowwhattodopleasedon'tbemadatuscae!
Caesara: ...What?
Yoshi: Errr. They're in a trance.
Caesara: What'd you do to them?!
Lillie: IT'S NOT OUR FAULT! It's Dawn's cranberry sauce!
Caesara: (snickering) That of which Yoshi has down his front?
Lillie: The very same.
Yoshi: It's not MY fault it spilt!
Lillie: Says the one who was holding the jar....
Caesara: Do you know how to reverse it?
Lillie: The nuclear plant man said we have to make them eat chicken gravy... but I have no idea where we'd find chicken gravy!
Caesara: Hmm. I think I have an idea!
She rushes off to the dining room; leaving the bewildered Lillie and Yoshi staring at her. Meanwhile, the two Alex's are plotting in low tones at the end of the dining table...
...Alex: They will all be pink. We'll make them. Pink is the best color. EVER.
Alex: Yes, indeed... But how?
...Alex: You have any of that leftover pink ink from Halloween?
Alex: Mmm... yes... why...?
...Alex: We could stick it in PI's water supply...
Alex thinks about this for a minute, then finally understands.
Alex: Because of it's nature anyone that drinks it will turn pink!
...Alex: And it's colorless in water...
At this point, both of them start laughing insanely. At the table around them, no one notices because they are still flinging food everywhere. Caesara stalks in, and walks up to Frankie.
Caesara: You had better not have thrown your chicken gravy everywhere!
Frankie: I have some left!
He holds up the bowl.
Frankie: Why?
Caesara: Thank you!
She grabs the bowl and dashes back to the other room. Once the three are fed and un-daze-ified, Caesara, Yoshi, Lillie, Starchaser, Dawn, and Kim all go into the dining room. Seeing the mess, however, the immediately turn around and go the other way.
Yoshi: So much for a quiet party.
Starchaser: Nothing is quiet in PI. You should know that by now.
Caesara: I'm so not cleaning this mess up by myself. Any volunteers?
Dead silence.
Yoshi: Ohmygosh look at that time! I had better be going, bye! Thanks for the food!
Spira: I just remembered that I left... my... uh... water... in the oven! I had better go check on it!
Yoshi rushes out before he is recruited for cleaning duty. Spira rushes out after him; cursing her lame excuse. The rest of the PI staff quickly follow his example, and rush out. Caesara stares at them.
Caesara: They are so dead tomorrow morning...