How to Avoid Remembering School

Written by: Anubis

The time has, once again, come. The Summer Holidays have whizzed by, and many a time, I have found myself thinking, "Where did that month go?" I'm sure the feelings are shared among us.

For most Americans, school starts around the end of August. For us British, it starts at the beginning of September. Why? Most likely because the British finished later than you Americans did.

The shops have all got large, ominous "back to school" signs, with half price sales and the like. Their advertisements are even on the television, our favourite source of mindless staring at a screen (apart from the computer, of course)!

School stationary is cheap. I've seen fountain pens for £2.74 ($4.96), and my friend even went out and spent £60 ($108.68) on stationary.

I find myself thinking other things, like "Aggggh! You can't escape!"

Shops start selling back to school products early July, which depresses me, as I don't get out until around July 16th. This regime begs the question "Why do they do this?". Do they have to overshadow our happy times in Summer with the "back to school" produce you see almost everywhere now?

As school draws ever closer, we, the public, and you, need some advice on how to escape school, and the disturbing shadow that is always over you. You need to know just how to ignore that dusty pile of homework, conveniently shoved under your bed and forgotten.

The homework given to you at the end of the year isn't always forgotten, however. There might be a conspiracy in all of this. Maybe teachers, precisely to make sure that no teenager forgets their priorities, established the "back to school" phrase. This scheme does not always work, however. You could remember, and not do the work anyway.

Alternatively, you could follow this guide. You can go about avoiding remembering school in two ways. This means that you'll be able to forget school completely*.

A Simple Guide to Avoiding School (1)

1) Avoid towns and cities. This prevents you from seeing the "back to school" signs that are erected in quite a few places.

2) Avoid watching the television (or at least their advertisements). This will prevent you from seeing the "back to school" advertisements for cheap garments and stationary.

3) Don't pass your school or walk/drive quickly by it if you must pass it for some reason. This will avoid bringing back memories of school bells and children laughing.

4) DO NOT go to your school's Summer Camp. This is a definite no-no, since your base room could be your French classroom. This could bring back bad memories of irregular verbs.

A Simple Guide to Avoiding School (2)

1) Stay sitting at home, on the Internet. As most of you would probably guess, that is precisely what I do every single day. =)

Of course, you could always forget all this stuff, and accept that school is here to stay.

But that's not going to happen, is it?

* NOT a guarantee - if you follow these instructions, the likeliness is that you'll always remember school since you are always trying to avoid it. Sorry readers, seems there's no way to avoid school!