New Year Bash with the PI Team

Written by: Lillie

Cast

...Alex as ...Alex / Alex
Ahoteinrun as Inrun
Alex as Alex
Ammer as Ammer
Apricus as Apricus
Caesara as Caesara
Destiny/Tinkerbell as Ayse
Hunter Lupe as Hunter
Igg as Igg
Ixistant as Ixistant
Koku as Koku
Lady Night as Lady Night
Lillie as Lillie
Sapphire Faerie as Chass
simsman2400 as Simsman
SpiraLethe as Spira
Starchaser as Starchaser
Sock as Sock
Teddymon as Teddymon
Vkceankraz as Kim
Xil as Xil
Yoshi as Yoshi


Scene 1

It is mid-afternoon on December 31st, New Year's Eve. The Pink Ink Headquarters are relatively quiet and deserted, except for a few members of staff: Caesara, Yoshi, Spira, Xil and Hunter. Caesara has declared New Year's Eve and New Year's Day to be holidays, which is why everyone else is absent, presumably celebrating a day of no work.

The five staff members enter the main hall, where several white couches are. They sit or recline on them, some moving the fluffy pink cushions away, some hugging them, and some ignoring the cushions and sitting on them.

Caesara: Is everything set for tonight?

Yoshi takes out a notepad and flips some pages until he reaches to one titled New Year Bash. On the page, several words have been scribbled and some have been crossed out. There are ticks in the margins.

Yoshi (half-muttering to himself): Decorations, food, notices, venue, pre - (to Caesara) - yep, everything's set.
Caesara: Good, good ... does anyone suspect anything?
Xil: Not a sign of it.
Spira: But they probably have guessed. We're not so disorganised that we have last-minute staff photographs on New Year's Eve. And in their best clothes too.
Xil: Well, well, there's nothing we can do about that.
Hunter: "Best clothes" doesn't mean "party clothes" for a lot of people.
Caesara (worried): Do you think it will make it less fun if they aren't comfortable?
Spira: Ah, don't worry about it. They'll probably love it and have a good time anyway.
Xil: After all, it's the thought that counts.
Caesara: I guess so ... Well then, let's go home. I'll lock up.

They all rise to leave and they proceed to the main doors. Yoshi is the last in line and he pauses for a moment, searching his pockets.

Caesara: What's the matter?
Yoshi (still fumbling around): Argh, I think I've left something upstairs in the office. I'll go up and get it.
Caesara: Okay, we'll wait for you.
Yoshi: Nah, you guys go on ahead. I'll lock up after you.
Caesara: Alright, if you're sure.

The rest of the staff leave and Yoshi goes in the opposite direction. The doors close behind Caesara, who pauses for a moment and looks back. Then she too continues onwards, without locking up.


Scene 2

Yoshi comes down the stairs on tiptoe and glances cautiously into the hallway. The other staff members are definitely well on their way back home and are unlikely to come back. He breathes a sigh of relief and walks to the broom cupboard.

He fiddles with the door a little, then remembers that it is locked. It takes him a while before he finds the right key for the broom cupboard. When he does find it, he jiggles it in the lock a little and the door opens.

With the door opening tumble out a mess of male Pink Ink staff members. They are hot and sweating, and tangled up in a pile in their anxiety to be freed. The girls glance at them and step over them precariously.

Starchaser: Freedom! At last!
Koku: Freedom! Freedom! I kiss the ground! (She falls onto her knees and proceeds to do what she has said she will do.)
Lillie: There, there, Koku. It's over, at least.
Kim: Yep. Thank goodness for that. It was a regular pigsty in there.
Igg: The guys smell like pigs.
Ixistant (from underneath the pile somewhere): So do you!
Igg (witheringly): We smell just fine. And so would you if you used deodorant.
Ixistant: How could we spray deodorant without someone hearing the spraying sounds and wondering what's going on?
Sock: That's true ... But maybe we should get you untangled first?
Teddymon, Simsman, Ammer: Please!

Some of the staff members begin to help to untangle the boys.

...Alex: What took so long?
Yoshi: Sorry, but we couldn't go until Caesara decided it was okay and that took a while. I had to pretend I was looking for something upstairs to get her to go first.
Alex (anxiously): She doesn't suspect anything, does she?
Yoshi: No, I'm pretty sure she doesn't.
Apricus: Are the others coming back?
Yoshi: They'll come back as soon as they've parted with Cae.
Ayse: Then we'd better get cracking.

By now the pile of boys has been untangled. They brush themselves down and look untidy in their crumpled suits they had hired for the staff photo.

Lady Night (fidgets in her formal dress): These clothes are going to get in the way of preparing ...
Chass: There isn't really a staff photograph, is there?
Yoshi: Ah ... no, I don't think so. You can change your clothes now.
Sock: Yay!

The team thunder up the staircase to their respective office cubicles and thunder towards the bathrooms to change into more comfortable clothes. Yoshi sighs and follows them at a more leisurely pace.


Scene 3

Ladders have been set up around the main hall and in various offices. Small groups of people are working in each room, putting up streamers, banners and other decorations.

In one room, Inrun, Simsman, Lady Night, the two Alexes and Starchaser are working together. Simsman sits on top of the ladder.

Simsman: Pass me that end of the banner please.
Starchaser: Here you go.
Simsman: Thanks ... if you could just hold onto the other end while I do this one ...
...Alex (looks critically at the effect, then nods): It looks fine!
Lady Night: The banner looks great. Good job, Inrun!
Inrun (proud): It is good, isn't it?
Alex (hesitantly): But is it supposed to say "Happy New Year"? I thought this was a bash for -
Inrun: Crud, you've got it the wrong way round! Hey, Simsman! It's back-to-front! I painted on the back of the New Year banners.
Simsman: Oh, whoops. Sorry!

He fixes it and turns it right way around for the group to admire and praise the artist.

In another room, Apricus, Lillie, Chass and Koku are wondering where to put the streamers.

Apricus: I think if they hang criss-crossing the room, that would be nice.
Koku: Hang the streamers in twos. Each pair of streamers has two different colours.
Lillie: And add some just trailing down in corners and other parts of the room where there won't be many people. You know, pin up one end of the streamer and just let the other dangle down.
Chass: They all sound great. Come on, let's do that!

They sit and sort out streamers into colourful "pairs". Lillie goes off to get a ladder, and returns with a metal one.

Apricus: Here you go, Lillie.
Lillie (surprised and confused): What?
Apricus: Streamers. To hang up?
Lillie (slowly beginning to realise the truth): You mean ... you want me to go up and hang these?
Apricus (confused at Lillie's unusual slowness): Um. Yes?
Lillie: Oh, but I can't!
Koku: Why not?
Lillie (clearly distressed): B-b-because ... (She breaks down.)
Apricus: Why, whatever's the matter?
Koku (mystified): Did we just say something taboo?
Chass: She's scared of heights.
Koku: Oh, is that all? Then I'll go up.

She climbs the ladder and begins to hang the streamers up.

Chass: Lillie, one of your New Year's resolutions ought to be: "I will not break down so easily".
Lillie (meek, as she is ashamed of herself): Yes, Chass.
Koku: And the other will be, "I will obey Koku's every command!"
Lillie: In your dreams, dearie.

In yet another room, which has already been decorated, a group of boys hang about. They are admiring everything, but don't seem quite content.

Ammer: We should really be doing something useful.
Ixistant: Isn't being an art critic being useful?
Ammer: No ... not really. I think they just said we should do that to get us out of the way.
Ixistant: Oh.

There is an air of disheartened gloom. The three boys scuff their shoes for a while and seem despondent. The mood disappears when Teddymon has a bright idea.

Teddymon: I know! Let's make fansigns!
Ammer: Hey! Good idea! We can make one for everyone to hold. Or if they don't want to hold them, we can stick them on the walls. Like posters!
Ixistant: Yes! And we can make them pink for Pink Ink!
Ammer: Shows our loyalty to our paper, eh?
Ixistant: Ex-actly! In fact, the more pink the better! Pink ink on pink paper!
Teddymon: Won't that be hard to read then?
Ixistant: Trust me on this! It will be fine!

They rush about getting the materials they need to put their plan into action.


Scene 4

In the kitchen, the rest of the team are attempting to cook the party food.

Igg: I said we should have got someone to cater for us!
Sock (sad): Yeah ... it's not turning out very well.

They observe a round, black object that resembles a manhole cover. There is silence.

Ayse: It looks like a manhole cover.

Yoshi pops in to see how they're doing and is surprised at what he sees.

Yoshi: Uh, guys? What's a manhole cover doing in the kitchen? It's not very ... hygienic, you know.
Ayse: It's a cake. Or it's supposed to be a cake.
Yoshi: A cake?! I mean - I'm sorry. I don't know very much about cakes so I wouldn't really know ...
Kim: It's okay, Yoshi. We all agree it looks like a manhole cover.

Silence ensues again as they look at their creation.

Kim: At least my cookies are turning out well!
Igg: And my fruit punch isn't too bad.
Ayse: My tarts are pretty nice too.
Sock: And my fries are yummy ... But we still don't have a cake!
Yoshi: Is the cake edible?
Kim: I don't know. I don't think so, judging by its colour.
Ayse: Why don't we cut it and see? It might just be the colour, if we're lucky.
Igg: If it is just the colour, we can stick loads of icing with red food colouring or something on top.

Sock fetches a large knife, which she presents to Kim to do the honours. Kim tentatively pushes gently down on the manhole cover cake. Nothing happens. She pushes harder. Still nothing. Finally, she puts all her strength in it. Ayse takes over and pushes as hard as she can. Igg joins her and then Sock, and Kim, and finally Yoshi. All push as hard as possible without success.

Kim: It really is as hard as a real manhole cover!
Igg: Maybe we should get take-out.
Ayse: You mean buying one from a cake shop.
Sock: But it was meant to be a special cake, made especially by us!
Ayse: I know, but we don't have enough flour.
Yoshi: I could go get one.
Igg: But it's nearly time for the party. There won't be time to get a cake. We'll just have to do without one, I suppose.

A stampede of footsteps interrupt any further discussion about the manhole cover cake.

Spira and Xil come rushing in, with Hunter following at a more leisurely pace. Each of them is carrying a bag of food.

Xil (waves a free hand): We have come to save you!
Sock: Huh?
Spira: We've got cake. (She places her bag on the table, and takes out an enormous box.)
Xil: And don't forget the nachos! (He shakes the bag he is holding enthusiastically.)
Spira (warningly): Be careful with that!
Hunter: You might want to put the ice-cream in the refrigerator. (He holds up a bag, with three boxes of ice-cream in chocolate, vanilla and strawberry.)
Kim: Strawberry ice cream!
Ayse (amazed): But how did you know that we were going to have trouble?
Spira: Let's just call it a sixth sense, shall we? Come on, there's no time to lose, she'll be here any moment.

Everyone rushes to get things ready.


Scene 5

The PI Headquarters are dark and deserted. There are no lights and the main doors are locked. It is half an hour before the designated time for the "staff photograph". Caesara approaches, dressed in her favourite clothes. She pauses before the doors and sighs, hoping that everything will be fun. She has come early just to make sure that everything really is in place. Yoshi is meant to arrive soon to help as well.

As she unlocks the doors, she wonders why he isn't there already. She flips on the light and there is a scream.

Whole Team: SURPRISE!

Caesara blinks as she looks around. Everyone is dressed neatly, and grinning cheesily. Balloons, streamers and banners hang around the room. Some of the staff are holding up huge fan signs of white paper with pink lettering on it. Apparently, the pink ink on pink paper really didn't work very well. The fansigns declare love for Caesara, wishing her a happy birthday, and many other such cheerful messages. There are more posters stuck up haphazardly on the walls. On one side of the room is a huge pile of brightly wrapped gifts, one from each of the staff, decorated with ribbons. In the middle of the room is a huge table, filled with food. The centre of the table is empty. Spira and Kim dash off towards the kitchen.

Ayse: Well, do you like it?
Caesara (astounded): What, is this all for me?
Chass: Of course it's for you, silly. Who else could it be for?

The lights suddenly go off again - Xil has flipped the switch off. From the kitchen, Spira and Kim come parading down with a huge, three tiered cake. It is frosted all over with pink and white icing. On top, it reads, "A very Happy Birthday to our Caesara!" Fourteen lit candles dot the cake and provide the only light in the room. The whole staff break into a tuneless rendition of "Happy Birthday to You" as the cake is carefully placed in the centre of the food table. Some members drag Caesara over to the table to blow out the candles, and applaud when it is done.

The lights flip back on and confetti comes pouring down. Everyone clusters around the table. A sudden "click" can be heard. A camera has been set up in the room.

Inrun: What was that?
Hunter: That would be the Staff Photograph of 2004.

Author's Note: I think you'll all be ready to join in with me in wishing Caesara, founder of PI, a very happy birthday. Happy Birthday, Cae!