Boycott Wal-Mart

Written by: Dragonfire

Wal-Mart, founded in 1962 by Sam Walton, is known all over the world for its low prices, smiley-face logo, and also its ability to crush local mom and pop stores into the ground.

If you read my previous columns about boycotting MySpace and Microsoft, you are probably groaning about why I would write another one of these. Well, it’s simply because I want to further expose the evils this modern society has created. I do not expect everyone to boycott Wal-Mart, nor do I expect even one person, but I feel that it is needed. After all, this series does provide a few laughs. Now, onto the real reason why this story is taking up a couple of inches of a piece of paper.

On April 27, 2007, I am proposing to boycott Wal-Mart for the purposes to not only ruin their diminutive sales, but also to destabilize the U.S. economy. Not only is Wal-Mart famous for weakening the economy of hundreds of small towns, but has also been in the news for wanting to build their super-centers on top of environmentally sensitive aquifers, which are already danger already from people drinking too much water.

In addition, Wal-Mart has threatened the lives of hundreds, maybe even thousands, of grackles, which are not really birds, but hobos in disguise. These birds have affectionately been called “Wal-Mart birds” because they make their homes in the trees around the stores. They travel in massive flocks, big enough to block out the sun and destroy small town crops, which further lead to the weakening of the economy. These birds are also considered criminals for pooping on every unfortunate soul that strays underneath trees and power lines. I have firsthand seen babies being suffocated by the wings of these vermin, as they attempt to peck out their eyes, which are a delicacy to the birds as much as caviar is to us.

This proposed boycott applies not only to Wal-Mart, but also to Sam’s Club, for the sole reason that it is a part of the behemoth. Although Wal-Mart may not build these buy-in-bulk stores with the same aggressiveness, they endanger the economy even more because one can buy supplies in bulk. How does this prove to be even more of a problem? The answer lies in saving time and money. If a family buys everything they need in bulk, they buy stuff less often, which pumps less money into the economy, and they save time. This is an odd tactic for Wal-Mart to take, because the more time one spends in a store, especially a grocery store, the more they spend.

Wal-Mart also seems to be partnering with McDonalds, as there is usually one in every super-center. They have most likely partnered so that the two can take over the world, forcing people to shop and eat at these two places. Some people say the McDonald’s is there for convenience, some say it’s to keep the kids happy, but I say the purpose is for something more sinister. After all, Ronald McDonald seems all too happy to be standing in the big box store.

Now, I urge everyone to take necessary action. Whatever action you take make a tremendous impact, whether it be not walking into a Wal-Mart or Sam’s Club; yelling everyone to boycott the giant in the streets; or not drinking any more water.

Dragonfire is a student at the University of Texas at Arlington, and won't run out of companies to boycott anytime soon.

Nessa is a employee of Wal-Mart and hopes her boss doesn't flog her in the morning after reading this article.

If you have any comments or suggestions about this article you are more then welcome to PM the author.