Happy Birthday from Pink Ink!

Written by: Runevalkyrie

I think I almost died when you said ‘what are we gonna do now?’ How was I supposed to know? People said you looked up to me, put me on a pedestal, and idolised me. That wasn’t fair, but I could never have told you. I don’t think I could live with myself if I had damaged your take on reality, it wasn’t a sensible one, but you seemed to like it. But I couldn’t... I couldn’t.

When you said that, I just sighed and said things were gonna be all right. But that was a lie, I knew they weren’t; they never could be after that. I wish I could have told you, but you were so young and naïve. Things were looking worse than ever and yet you remained so optimistic.

As children we would play, and you would always wanted to play on the swings first, and I always had to push you. Then you’d play on the slide, and you’d ask me to ‘catch you’ at the bottom, and you’d slide in between my legs and land on your bum. I never did catch you, you know, I wish did now, things may have been better.

Then you’d go on the climbing frame and sing ‘I’m king of this castle and you’re a dirty rascal,’ and you were right, kid. You were the king, and that was your castle. You loved it up there, above all the other children, above me. That is where you really belonged.

But now you’re gone, and I could never tell you. You were so much greater than you really realised… That playpark is gone now, too, save for a few vandalised chairs. I think it gave up too after you were gone. It had lost its King and now it was surrendering.

I could never tell you: people said you looked up to me, put me on a pedestal, and idolised me. But how could they know? It was the complete opposite, but now as I stand next to your bed, the white linen rustling against my leg, and I see you look at the screen, and look back to me, squeeze my hand and smile, I hear you say ‘it’ll be all right.’

That is all I ever wanted to hear.

Paul is indier then you could ever hope to be.

Nessa dreams of self-editing articles, but is forever glad for writers that only need touch-ups.

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