The Anonymous Advice Column

Written by: Anonymous

We're on the eve of Valentine's Day, and love is in the air. Well, that and another round of my advice column, that is. Any questions (or chocolates to show that you care) that you have for me can be sent to failedlogin@gmail.com or the appropiate thread on the forums.

Why do bad things happen to the world? *sigh*

There's no exact answer. I'd like to believe that it balances out all the good (although there is far more good than bad in the world.)

Why does keep showing up on the screen instead of various other images (AKA avs, the email button at the bottom, other buttons, etc.)?

It's the alpha image (something along the lines of an "alpha male"); it's supposed to come first.

Why is there a gigantic height difference between seventh and eighth graders? o__o

Puberty. *nods*

What's up with Rune and her frying pan thing? Does she secretly resent Arrow because he hogs all the glory? I hardly think she could get Hunter or Yukio or Jim in a frying pan...but...she seems to have them all under her spell already. So is the frying pan a symbolic representation of her hatred towards Arrow? Or just a representation of the Goddess-like status she holds over this forum?

I'm surpised that a Runanite would question the methods of their goddess. For all I know she has that frying pan of hers because it's the one weapon to rule them all.

Why do I seem to have a thing for vengeful people with swords?

Simply because they rock.

Why don't we buy Symphony chocolate bars anymore?

You know, I haven't been able to see them when I shop... maybe they're that hard to find now.

Why is every stinking pop song directed towards an infant, for chrissake? (See word, Baby)

Once you look into a baby's eyes, your world revolves around them. Hence songs are directed to them.

Doesn't the Chomby from Chomby and the Fungus Balls get laryngitis?

Nope.... according to my sources, Chomby is known to lipsync. ;)

Should I get some emo glasses, regular glasses, or contacts on my next visit to the optometrist?

Go with regular glasses, you may not like to stick with one specific style.

Why can't I turn my mother into a Grobanite?

Everyone has their own taste in music; Mr. Groban might not be in your mom's taste.

Until next issue, have a wonderful Valentine's Day.