The Fine Art of Procrastination

Written by: Eidolon

Now, some of you perfect angels here on PPT are probably horrified by this very title. Procrastination! Run away! You are likely straight-A students, perfect, 100% on every test, and devour a book every week. A large book.

Well let me tell you something! I myself am a straight-A student and have been known to devour rather large books at an alarming rate, but I procrastinate. For example – winter break, the perfect excuse. I have a trumpet solo in Jazz Band that I must write on my own, you say? I’d rather read my new books. I have to study a political map of Africa, which we’ll have a test on in Geography the day we get back? I also have a quite big packet full of questions that’s due the same day, in the same class? I’d much rather play my new video games. I need to clean my room? I would never do that, my dear, when I have a horse just waiting in his stall not twenty minutes away for me to come ride him!

In short – it is Sunday night, 9:45 PM at the time of writing, and I go back to school Tuesday. I have a trumpet solo to write (I can put it off, the concert’s ages away), a Geography test to study for (study tomorrow night, Tuesday morning) and a packet to finish (start/finish tonight and tomorrow). This is where it gets dangerous. I’ve pulled this kind of thing off many times before, but there’s always the risk. This is where it either gets really fun – or really scary. For me, it’s usually a bit of both.

It’s a delicate balancing act, because if you put it off too long, the guilt will weigh down on you, and you will scramble to finish it for risk of your parents finding out and being disappointed in you. I don’t know about you, but I hate it when my parents are disappointed. Not angry – just let down, like you should know better. This is what drives me to do it in secret, to finish it the day before and never quite mention that it is due tomorrow. Worst of all, though, is when you don’t pull it off – when it’s turned in a day late or you end up doing badly on the test. It doesn’t happen to me often, but when it does, it scares me into being sickeningly punctual for the next few weeks. After that, I slip back into old habits. Oh well – you know what they say about old dogs and new tricks.

Perhaps I’ll write another article detailing the results, but I’m pretty confident it’ll go over well. After all, I am experienced in this lovely, fine, dangerous art of procrastination.

(By the way, myself and PPT probably maybe don’t technically endorse procrastination because you can get yourself into major trouble, even if it’s rather fun at times and quite lovely when you pull it off.)