10 Reasons Why Santa Should Perish

Written by: Simsman24000

Hey there, Nick, Mr. Santa Claus,

I've got something to say to you saints,

You see, Santa, this year you broke all Christmas laws,

And so I've got a couple complaints.

I sent you my list, and I know it got sent,

I mean, why would my parents lie?

So don't you dare say you don't know where it went,

Because my list has been seen by your eye.

For starters, I told you the presents I thought

Were the ones that I asked you to get,

But obviously, you didn't care what I got

So here's the list, if you've not seen it yet.

A nose job, a wristwatch, a new St. Bernard,

A cell phone and poster of that girl, Lucy Liu,

A convertible, some music, a new credit card,

And the DVD version of The Simple Life 2.

But Santa, did you look at my list and read?

Because all I got was this stupid new vest!

You failed to deliver the presents I need,

So this Christmas ranks F, at best.

Next year, I hope that bad luck befalls you

Due to the intelligence you lack,

I hope Mrs. Claus wants to divorce you

And Rudolph leaves and doesn't come back.

I wish an ill fate to be given upon you,

Upon you and your big stupid sleigh.

I hope all the other reindeer are gone, too,

And I finally get my bad-Santa way.

So Santa, I'm telling you, it's you that I booed,

And yes, it's because I have reason

It's me, Mr. Santa, the kid you screwed

With the stupid gifts this holiday season.