The Archives Articles Art Entertainment Neopets PPT Miscellaneous

The Heist

Written by: DM and Light

You can read part one of the story in Issue 32.

- - -

When we left off, our theives left the boss to get ready to rob the Musée du Louvre. Here's what the Boss was doing, at that time.

Once Mr. and Mrs. Damon had left to get into their gear, Adam West (the boss, not the famous Batman actor) went to his Holiday Inn suite to make a couple of phone calls. After an nearly an hour, he emerged smiling from his suite; with a piece of paper. He then hollered for a cab.

"Take me to the Champs-Élysées." he said

Meanwhile, at their Novotel Hotel; the theives were getting ready for their heist. Packing smoke bombs, power tools, bulletproof vests, etc. Just then, there was a knock at the door. It was an attendant (to prove that he was exactly who he said he was, he did the hokey pokey). He provided them with the fake Louvre guard ID card they needed. He wished them good luck and then dashed out the door. Mr. Damon would enter the Louvre as the fake guard. His card read "Jean Seabestien Chirac".

"Ready?" he asked.

"Yup." she replied, and off they went.

Musée du Louvre, Paris, France

May 31st 2008, close to closing time

Mrs. Damon arrived a few hours before the actual heist was set to begin. She passed through security without any hassle, and then began surveying the area where the painting (Ship of Fools, painted by Hieronymus Bosch somewhere during 1490–1500) hung. She then raidoed her partner to let him know that she had gotten in. For the next few hours, she toured the Louvre and a hour before closing time, she revisted the Ship of Fools.

"Won't be long now." she smirked.

An hour later, the guards made their rounds around the Louvre shouting "On ferme, mesdames et messieurs! On ferme!" Mrs Damon blended her self in with the out-going crowd, and slowly slipped into a nearby storage room. Here, Mr. Damon would drop off the tools. A few minutes later, Mr. Damon arrived.

"Salut, monsieur. ID, s'il te plaît?" the guard said, as soon as he saw him.

"Yes, yes here. I'm here for my night shift." he replied. Mr.Damon's second indentity patrolled the area where the prized painting was hung. At about 1 AM, the heist began.

Mrs. Damon snuck back out of the room. She pulled a smoke bomb out of her backpack and pulled on the tab, releasing the smoke. "Go, go, go!" She whispered to her husband. He snatched the painting, placed a plastic covering over it, and ran out with it. Outside, a helicopter was flying a few hundred feet above the building, with a ladder dangling below it. The two began their acension up.

"Do you have it?" Adam asked.

"Yes." Mr. Damon replied, pulling the plastic cover off.

"Brilliant. You've proved yourselves worthy. Now we can get to the big heist. The Mona Lisa."

Next to him were two other females. They both had long, blonde hair. One was wearing a black trenchcoat, buttoned, and a black headband. The other was wearing a black pantsuit.

"Girls, you know that you will be helping them, right?"

The two girls nodded.

"We're ready." The one in the trenchcoat said.

"Perfect. All is going as planned."

Twenty minutes into the flight, the boss took his face off; and pointed a gun at the thieves. The two blondes in the trenchcoat followed suit.

"You're under arrest for breaking and entering the Louvre, and buglary." the boss said. He then took off his mask, and revealed that he was in fact a certain pundit brodcasting on the Headline News channel during the Primetime block.

The two girls also pulled of their faces, and revealed their real identities. The one in the trenchcoat was a certain hotel airess, who doesn't star on Disney Channel's Suite Life with Zack and Cody, and had recently taken a oath to change her ways. To do this, she chose a new exciting career in law enforcement. The second one can be described as a Hollaback girl who spends her time at Harajuku Station on Yamanote Line in Tokyo.

"Oh no! Team America!" the couple shouted in sarcastic horror. Mrs. Damon threw down a smokebomb, and along with her husband grabbed some parachutes in the corner. Before jumping, she placed a stamp on the the blades of the helicopter.

"NOW!" she shouted to her partner and with that they jumped. They ended up in a small town in the countryside outside of Paris. The helicopter ended up crashing due to the weight of the US stamp. However, Team America: World Police survived.

A couple of hours later, they were back in disguise and left the Charles De Gaulle Airport for Chicago, with an alias. Several hours before, the boss left. The painting was on a cargo ship, on it's way to an abandoned warehouse in Chicago. Everything that was used in the operation was disposed of. The boss smirked, while he sipped some club soda; everything had gone according to plan.

"We did it. We really did it." Mrs. Damon said.

"Yeah, but now it's time for our payment." Mr. Damon replied.

Once, they arrived in Chicago; they found that their Swiss bank account had recieved a huge deposit of money. Then, Mr. Damon's disposable cellphone rang.

"I believe you recieved you what you wanted." the voice said


"Then, I'll see you in Shanghai in a week."

When Light isn't writing, he can be found substituting for the sun.

DM was on fire! promised herself to add more words to her vocabulary. She now knows the words "I" and "love", to go with "Josh". Along with writing this story with her partner-in-crime, Light, she edited it. Woot!

If you have any comments or suggestions about this article you are more then welcome to PM or email the author.