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Two Greatest Words

Written by: Skynetmain

You can read part 1 of this story in Issue 30.

You can read part 2 of this story in Issue 31.

You can read part 3 of this story in Issue 33.

- - -

A few hours later. The six girls are standing in front of a large building.

Rei: This is a hotel.

The shot pulls back to show the girls in front of the Ritz Carlton.

Rika: Actually, we have a suite. So technically...

Rei: Fine.

Rika: Okay. Everyone meet back here at six so we can go to dinner. Remember, always go everywhere with a buddy. To Teph. Especially you!

Teph: What is that supposed to mean!

Teph notices everyone is gone except for herself and Keona.

Suratae is by the reflecting pond. She is doing some homework. Komusume walks up.

Komu: What are you doing?

Suratae: I’m doing my calculus homework.

Komu: Can I see?

Suratae: You might not understand it...

Komusume takes the paper. She scans it quickly.

Komu: You did problem five wrong. You have the wrong variables in the integrand. It should read...

Komusume quickly corrects the page of work.

Suratae: How the hell...

Komu: Oh, and you used the wrong gravitational constant in the problem you just started.

Teph and Keona are on a subway. They are enjoying the clean and safe ride.

Teph: So this Coney Island has a lot of fun stuff?

Keona: Last time I was here it did.

Teph: And how do we get there again?

Keona: I thought you knew.

Teph: Uh oh...

The subway continues to its unknown destination.

Rika has lead Rena and Ayu to a small shop. The sign out front of the shop reads ‘The Occult Emporium’. A cardboard cutout out front has a sexy witch saying, ‘You must be this magical to enter.’

Rena: You’re serious, right?

Rika: This place has the best magic items outside of Mystic Earth. You’ll love it.

The girls enter. They see a short, black-haired girl arguing with the owner.

Serika: My dad ruled Mystic Earth! I demand a discount!

Gumt: Listen, I never recognized Shone. That is why I left. Now pay full price or leave.

Serika: This better be worth it.

Serika pays for an amulet and turns.

Rika: 'Sup yo?

Serika: You!

Serika starts fumbling for a spell.

Serika: Blast!

Rika: Getting impatient. I said ‘Sup yo?’

Serika: Charges a spell. She forms a small ball of magic. Demon come forth!

A vicious, snarling demon is formed from the magic. It spies Rika and goes straight for her arm.

Rika: Slaps the mosquito sized demon. Just tell me ‘sup.

Serika panics she rushes past Rika’s group. She knocks over a spice rack and gets magic ingredients everywhere.

Serika: Victory is mine!

Serika runs off.

Teph and Keona have gotten off the subway. They are studying a map trying to figure out how to at least get back to the hotel.

Keona: We have to take the 42 to the 37 back to 16 and switch to the 34. That should get us to one block from the hotel.

Teph: Points. There goes the 34 now.

The subway goes down a tunnel.

Keona: Stops a passerby. When does that train return?

Man 1: It comes by once a day.

Keona: Then where is the 42?

Man 1: Over there.

The man points to a train that has started to leave. The girls rush to catch the train. Teph almost reaches it, but slips. Her sleeve get caught in the closing door. Keona runs after the train which is now dragging Teph.

Rika is helping clean up the mess Serika made. Ayu and Rena are going through the store looking for souvenirs.

Ayu: What are these Nohnaka-style charms?

Rika: Those? My brother did them. Getting harder to find them with his busy schedule.

Rena: Hard to find if you’re not family or friend.

Rika: Most of what he gives us aren’t magic. They’re just ordinary, one-of-a-kind, handcrafted, jewelry. Only worth, maybe, thousands of credits each.

Ayu: And he gives them to you all the time?

Rika: Not as much as he used to. Like I said, busy schedule.

Teph is missing her coat. She and Keona have made it to the nearest platform.

Keona: There is no way we’re going to figure out the subways. We have to get a cab.

Teph: Hopefully one with heat. Sneezes.

The girls head to the street. They quickly find a free cab and climb in.

Cabby: Where to?

Keona: Ritz Carlton Central Park.

Cabby: I don’t go that far. Sorry.

Keona: How close can you get us?

Cabby: I can take you to the bus station, and they can get you to NYC in an hour or so.

Teph: Just where are we exactly?

Cabby: City of Brotherly Love. Philadelphia.

Girls: Oh crap.

Suratae is playing Dreamscape in her room. Yung-li is nearby doing her homework.

Yung: You’re done already?

Suratae: Simple stuff when you’re as smart as me.

The door to the room opens. Komusume walks in.

Komu: Here you go. I corrected all of your faulty equations and redid your math. You’re really not that good at this.

Rika is regrouping back in front of the hotel. She is waiting for the rest to join her. Ayu and Rena come out of the hotel dressed somewhat formal.

Rena: The others aren’t here yet?

Rika: Just give them time. We still have five minutes before we ditch them.

Rei: Walks up. Ditch who?

Rika: The other two. They’ll be late.

Teph and Keona come running up the street. Teph is freezing without the coat.

Rika: There you are. I knew you weren’t lost. Now let’s get some grub.

Rika starts heading down the street.

Rika: Subway is this way.

Keona and Teph moan.

After diner, the girls are back at the hotel. Teph is watching the giant TV. Keona is taking a long bath. Rena is in the fitness center. Rika, Ayu, and Rei are playing cards.

Rei: I was just thinking about something.

Rika: What?

Rei: It took us a few days to get here, right?

Rika: With delays, yeah...

Rei: So, it should take us about that long to get back right?

Rika: Well, we have two more days. Wait.

Rika runs some quick calculations in her head. She calmly goes to the room phone.

Rika: Front desk? This is room 134. We would like a four AM wake up call for a trip we have to make. Thank you.

Rei: Sighs. I’ll go to bed now so that one of us gets sleep.

Four AM. The Dojo. Everyone is calmly sleeping in their usual spots. Aerith rolls over and almost off the roof.

Four AM. New York. Teph is still awake watching a movie. She has headphones on so she can not disturb the others. All of the others are piled on the beds. The room phone rings. Rika lifts the receiver then sets it back down. The phone rings again. Rika rips the phone out of the wall and throws it out a window.

Tehran, Iran. Zell is sitting down for lunch. A phone comes flying out of the sky and hits him in the head.

Four fifteen AM. There is a knock on the door. A blast of ki blows the door off the hinges. Rei comes out of the shower in a robe. She helps the injured bellhop to his feet.

Rei: I’ll get them.

Thirty minutes later. Rei has the rest piled in the car. She is escorting Rika to the wheel.

Rei: Wake up. Time to drive.

Rika: Too sleepy. Shouldn’t have stayed up to watch [Adult Swim]

Rei: That is what I told you.

Rika: I can’t drive. You have to.

Rei: What!

Rika: We have to make it to Kansas by nightfall. That mean averaging at least 160 kph the whole way.

Rei: But Rika...

Rika has fallen asleep again. Rei piles Rika into the car. She takes the keys, adjusts the seat and starts the engine. Rei revs the engine and gets a feel for the car. She gets a smile and peels out of the garage.

Noon-ish. Rei is stuck in traffic in Indianapolis. Rika wakes up.

Rika: Why are we going so slow?

Rei: Now wearing shades and leaning out the window. These punks don’t get it. You want the pedal next to the brake, grandma!

Rika: Did I pass through a dimensional rift while I was out?

Rei peels on to the shoulder. She charges past the traffic while giving a blurred guess at the driver's IQ.

Rika: Definitely another dimension.

The Dojo. Aerith, Suratae, and Yung-li are watching TV. Komusume is reading a book nearby.

Yung: Well, it took a week, but at least you’re calm again.

Suratae: What do you mean?

Yung: Don’t you remember? You were mad that Rika left you here while she went on a road trip.

Suratae: That’s right! She must pay!

Aerith turns to a news report.

Keith O: Capping the stories for the week. The White House dinner party this Thanksgiving was a smash.

Aerith: Hey! There’s Rika.

Suratae looks and sees Rika in the White House.

Suratae: That dog!

Suratae slams her left arm into the ground. A hairline crack forms on the cast. She is trying not to cry. Suratae simply stands up, walks outside, and swears very loudly in every language she knows.

Komu: I take it I don’t want to know what those words mean.

Aerith: Damn skippy.

About five o’clock central. Rei has been driving for fourteen hours. She is very tired.

Rei: Can one of you take over? I need a nap.

Rika: Sure. Just pull over. And...

A siren sounds. A police car is following them.

Rika: Crap!

Rika jams Rei’s foot on the accelerator. The car takes off.

Rei: What are you doing!

Rika: You are way too under-aged to be driving. If we’re caught, we’d all go to jail.

The car is speeding near max, but the cop is still gaining.

Rena: Any other bright plans?

Rika: Just one. Flee on foot.

Rika gets up and jumps off the back of the car. The cop swerves to barely miss hitting Rika. Rena takes the cue and jumps out too. Ayu and Teph follow soon after. Rei and Keona are left in the speeding car being chased. More cops have detained the others.

Des Moines. Rika, Rena, Ayu and Teph are in lockup.

Rena: That was perfect. I can’t wait for my master to hear about this.

Teph: Can we call our moms and have them get us out?

Ayu: I doubt divine intervention can really out weigh justice.

Rika: I called Aerith. She is going to make everything cool.

Rena: What about the car? Rei could be kilometers from here by now. I know I would be.

The jail wall collapses. Rei has used a ki blast to free her friends.

Rei: Well, I’m not you. Now get in!

The girls hop into the car. Rika takes the wheel, and the girls flee the scene as fast as possible.

Aerith is in Des Moines. She has Suratae following her. They enter a police station.

Suratae: Where is she? I feel the need to gloat coming on.

Cop: Madam Aerith?

Aerith: The one and only. They’re not here are they.

Cop: Correct.

Aerith: Well, you can never detain a Turk without them escaping. I’ll pay for the damages. Just send the bill to the Turks.

Cop: Those girls are fugitives. They destroyed police property. The blonde one bit me!

Aerith: They are under Turk protection. If you hurt one hair, I can have my ships bombing this city in seconds.

Suratae: Aerith, think about it. Your golden child is a criminal. Ditch her. I can be your new protege.

Aerith: They stayed in the Ritz Carlton near Central Park.

Suratae: Son of a!

Suratae slams her fist into a desk. The desk collapses, and the crack on her cast grows.

Aerith: Wait until we’re outside.

Aerith escorts Suratae outside. Suratae lets loose with a lot more profanity.

It is getting late. The girls have made it to Nebraska and are looking for a place to stop for the night. Rei, Ayu, and Keona are sleeping in the back.

Rena: Where are we? This looks like a wasteland.

Rika: You think this is bad, wait until Utah.

Teph: I’m starving.

Rika: Don’t worry. I found us a place.

Rika pulls into a driveway of a normal looking house. Rika gets out and goes to the door. She rings the bell. The door opens. Cym is standing there.

Cym: Rika! What are you doing here? Are the Elements at it again?

Rika: Worse.

Cym: Dr Sae has returned! This is big!

Rika: Worse.

Cym: What is worse than Sae?

Rika: We’re tired and hungry. Can we crash here?

Cym: Wait, what?

Rika pushes inside. Rena and the others follow. Cym and her family are stunned.

Rika: Tosses her keys to Cym. Be a dear and fill her up. We’ve been on the same tank since we got to New York.

Teph finds her way to the refrigerator and starts eating.

Cym’s Mom: Listen, Rika. We are fine with you dropping by, but...

Rika: Drops a large sack of credits on the ground. Speaking of dropping...

Cym’s Mom: All of you stay in Cym’s room.

Cym: But mom!

Cym’s Mom: No ‘buts’ young lady. Now get your friends car refueled.

Cym’s Dad: Honey.. I don’t think... Notices the pile of credits. Holy Cow! I don’t even make this much in a month! Jim, Tim, get a meal for your sister’s friends.

Jim: Sleep over blackmail?

Tim: Booya.

Morning. The girls are eating all the food in Cym’s house. Cym’s brothers are over a computer screen.

Jim: Snap. Nothing.

Tim: All they did was sleep.

Cym’s Mom: Did anyone else dream of surfing last night?

JHM has returned to the Dojo. She is working with Suratae’s arm.

Yung: I thought you said a week.

JHM: Those two kidnaped Gabriel and disappeared. I don’t give where they went as long as they’re gone.

JHM’s dimension. Somewhere in a lost part of the lab Matt, Aaron, and Gabriel are searching for JHM.

Matt: How the hell was I supposed to know that she would reroute all visitors to the hazardous waste dump? All I wanted was an antacid.

JHM finishes her scan.

JHM: How is this possible?

Suratae: Better already?

JHM: Somehow, your arm broke more.

Yung: Too bad. Draws a sword. Time to amputate!

Aerith, JHM: Yung-li!

Aerith: Gets a bigger sword. Here use a claymore.

Rika is speeding through the Rockies. The speed of the car nearly forces them off the road with each turn.

Teph: This totally ain’t safe. Faster!

Ayu: Are you insane!

Rei: I must agree.

Ayu: Thank you.

Rei: Floor it!

Rena: To Ayu. We lost her to the Dark Side.

Rika: Uh oh.

Ayu: What ‘uh oh’?

Rika: Rena, remember what I warned you about yesterday?

Rena: Uh...

Rika: Well, welcome to Utah.

A few hours past midday. Rika has passed the Rockies and Sierra Nevada. They are stopping for lunch only an hour from their target.

Rika: You thought Utah was bad. Ha! This place has that beat.

Ayu: Where are we?

Rei: A den of evil. I have property in the area.

Teph: You don’t mean...

Rei and Rika nod.

Teph: Drops to her knees. Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rena: I don’t get it.

Keona whispers to Rena. Rena nearly spits out her meal.

Rika: Just be cool and blend in. A person passes. Kings rule!!! Beat LA!!!

Person: Right on!

Rika: Dodged a bullet.

Rika’s group has finally made it back to San Fran. But along the way, she managed to enrage another cop. Wanting to get home, she decided to try to outrun the now massive high speed chase. Every cop in the city, county and neighboring counties are chasing Rika.

Rei: I told you it wasn’t a good idea to say that to a sheriff.

Rena: I did. It was funny.

Ayu: What does pork have to do with police?

Teph whispers an explanation to Ayu.

Ayu: Oh. Hits Rika in the back of the head. That was not nice. Shame.

Keona: The best part was when we oinked at him.

Teph: I’ve never seen a red Andorian before. He turned purple.

The cops are getting close, then suddenly, a red blur causes the cops to slow down. The blur catches up to Rika’s car and joins the chase.

Forde: From her car. What are you doing! Always got to surface street in a high speed chase! I though I taught you better.

Rika: Aerith taught me not to involve civilians. It is safer for them if I stay highway.

Forde and Rika start making a break for one of the bridges, but they turn off the freeway and loop back to go the opposite direction. The cops have an easy time following because their cars hover. Suddenly, the cop cars part. Some fly off the road. A black shape is approaching from behind.

Jorden: From his car. Pull over! I want to help!

Rika: We’re fine thanks.

Jorden: I meant help Rei. You’re too dangerous. I don’t want you corrupting her.

Rei: Cheese it, square!

Rei sticks her tongue at Jorden as Rika makes another dangerous turn. She maneuvers her car so they are heading toward the Bay Bridge. Jorden and Forde follow, along with the cops. Rika heads into the Bay Bridge. The cops follow from all sides. At the end of the bridge, she guns it and speeds between two large, white pillars. The cops all stop and turn away from GP-01, who just landed.

Kyoro: No one is allowed to chase my girlfriend!

Kyoro takes one shoot with his beam rifle, and the police scatter.

Back at the Dojo. Everyone is winding down from the trip. Rika, Aerith, Forde, and Kyoro are catching up. Jorden, Rei, and Komusume are listening in.

Aerith: Thanks to you, I have at least a weeks worth of hard work ahead of me.

Rika: Anything for the cause.

Suratae: From afar. Rika!

Everyone parts as Suratae confronts Rika.

Suratae: How dare you not invite me! I knew you as long or longer than most of the others.

Rika: I agree.

Suratae: Don’t you bring that! Wait. You agree?

Rika: Yes, if you came, then you wouldn’t have tried to seduce Kyoro.

Suratae: But he and Yami were the ones that beat me! I didn’t want to show them my goods (or in my case greats!). They forced me! I’m the victim here!

Rika: I was talking about when you kissed him. I wasn’t familiar with the story you just said.

Suratae: Well, uh. Gotta run!

Suratae tries running to escape. Rika chases. Rika tackles Suratae off screen.

Suratae: Off screen. Ow! I think you broke my arm!

Views expressed by Skynetmain about Sacramento are not those of the PI Staff. The Kings do rule though.

Lillie is made of 99.99% awesome and 0.01% glitter.

WIS draws at the speed of light!

If you have any comments or suggestions about this article you are more than welcome to PM or email the author.