The Archives Articles Art Entertainment Neopets PPT Miscellaneous

Two Greatest Words

Written by: Skynetmain

You can read part 1 of this story in Issue 30.

- - -

(21) Idaho. Morning. Rika is sleeping in her car with blaster in hand. Rena and Rei are in the back sleeping too. A couple of other patrons walk by.

Patron 1: Did you dream about surfing too?

Late morning. Wyoming. Yellowstone National Park. Despite failed attempts to pave it over in the early 21st century (think 1st decade), the forest is going strong. Rika is weaving between the trees at high speed. Ayu and Keona are too scared to watch. Rei is calmly reading. Rika barely misses a tree.

Rika: Stands and turns back toward the tree. Ha! Me: 1. Trees: 0.

Teph: Go, man, go! Stands, leaning on the back of Rika’s seat.

Rena: Slow down before we all die!

Ayu: Yes! Please cease the danger at once!

Keona: Crying. Mommy save us!

Rei: Don’t worry. As long as Rika dodges that tree, we’ll be safe.

Rika: Turns to Rei. One, this is not a Dodge. It is a Chevy. Two, you mean this tree.

Rika veers the car in a near miss of a large pine tree. A low branch slams Teph in the head. She goes flying from the car. Only her glasses stay.

Rena: We’re not going to die. Draws her sword. She is. Holds the blade to Rika’s throat.

Rika: If you want to drive, fine. Lets go of the wheel. Go ahead.

The car continues to charge through the forest.

Ayu, Rena: Rika!!!!

Rika: What?

Rena: Just stop driving like a maniac, and maybe we will be quieter!

Ayu: Please! We all want to live!

Rika: You want me to stop?

All: Yes!!!!!!!

Rika slams the brakes. She pulls the wheel hard. The car skids to a sideways stop. It is on two wheels. The car lands. All the girls, except Rika and Rei, scream the whole time. When the car lands, Ayu is crying too. Teph come running out of the woods. She has a huge lump from the tree branch. She leans on the car to catch he breath.

Rika: ‘The Eagle has landed.’

Suddenly, the ground starts rumbling. A large spout of water bursts out of the ground next to the car. All of the water is landing in the car. They have parked on Old Faithful.

Rena: To the panting Teph. Hands Teph her glasses. At least you get your hot shower.

Suratae and Yung-li are in the main hall. They are dressed in their training clothes.

Yung: See. Training is good. It will let you blow off some steam.

Suratae: Mouko Takabisha!!!!

Suratae forms a small ki ball that quickly dissipates.

Yung: You have to calm yourself if you want a proper ki...

A giant ball of ki energy sends Yung-li into the far wall.

Suratae: Anger and perturbed-ness work well for me!

Yung: You dirty bi...

Yellowstone. Rika is speeding out of the main gate. Rena and Teph are chasing after the car. Rika screeches to a stop. Ayu flies into the front seat since she wasn’t buckled yet. Rena and Teph hop into the car and Rika takes off again. Three Park Service vehicles speed out of the park in pursuit.

Rena: Pushes Ayu completely into the front. Get your butt out of my face.

Teph: Panting. That was too close.

Keona: What did you do? I didn’t notice.

Ayu: Rights herself and buckles up. She committed the most heinous of crimes.

A blaster bolt nearly misses the car.

Keona: More scared. What crime is it?

Rika: Stands. She steers with her foot. Faking a Scottish accent. You may take our lives, but you’ll never take our pic-a-nic baskets!

Back at the Dojo. Suratae and Yung-li’s brawl has spread. A door has been knock out of the slots. The dogs are barking. All of the rocks and sand in the rock garden are messed up. Yung-li is beating Suratae’s head on a tree. Suratae is choking Yung-li. A small bloodstain is forming on the tree. Yung-li is two shades of blue below purple. Kyoro calmly walks up with a fire extinguisher. He sprays both girls until both let go of each other and pass out. Yung-li slowly starts regaining normal colors. Suratae’s hair slowly turns red. Kyoro walks away.

Yami: Just leaving them?

Kyoro: They know what the consequences of fighting.

A small blood puddle is under Suratae. Yung-li rolls over. She starts choking on extinguisher foam.

Rika is cruising down the highway. In the back, Teph is sleeping. She wakes with a loud grumble.

Teph: I’m hungry.

Keona: Me too.

Rena: Well, if we didn’t spend all morning fleeing from the feds.

Ayu: And if someone, eyes Rika, didn’t clean out the picnic basket.

Rika: To self. Pic-a-nic basket.

Rei: Her stomach growls. She blushes.

Rika: Check it out. Some local flavor.

Rika pulls the car off the highway into a small town. They pass a sign reading ‘Mt. Rushmore National Memorial.’

Rena: I have a very bad feeling about this.

At the Dojo. Suratae and Yung-li are recuperating in their room. JHM is attending to the girls.

JHM: Tae has a nasty wound back there. I pulled a twig out of there. Don’t wake her for another few hours, and don’t let her sit up for a few hours after that.

Yami: Thank you for all of your help.

JHM: Yung there. She has mild poisoning from what looks like fire extinguisher foam. She is not to have any fluids until I say so.

Yami: We can honestly never thank you enough.

JHM: How come you didn’t call earlier? They would be less sick that way.

Kyoro: How I operate is no concern of yours. How you operate is only between you and your patient

JHM: Whatever. I’ll be back later to check on them.

The group closes the door to the room. Suratae stirs. She knocks over her bushi armor. Somehow, she throws the tanto across the room at Yung-li. Yung-li pulls a small statuette of a shelf. She throws it at Suratae. Both thrown items end up only inches away from the sick girls.

Mt Rushmore. Rika is giving a history lesson to Teph, Ayu, and Keona.

Rika: These five [say what!] figures represent the greatest Presidents that America ever had. The strength and leadership of Washington. The wisdom and brilliance of Jefferson. The courage and will of Lincoln. The unbeatable spirit of Roosevelt. And the great humanitarian of all time, a true environmentalist, a master of the people, the great Jessie ‘The Body’ Ventura.

Teph: Isn’t he the one that saved all of those animals?

Ayu: That was his brother Ace.

Keona: Elvis was better then all of those guys.

Rika: You have no appreciation for history.

Teph: I’m too hungry to care.

Keona: Yeah

Ayu: Me too.

Rei and Rena walk up with armloads of food. They set it down on a picnic table.

Rena: This was all they had. Sorry.

Keona: Who cares? I love burgers for breakfast.

Rena: At this time of the day it is more like late lunch.

Ayu: To Rei. Not eating?

Rei: Nothing I like.

Teph: Burgers, hot dogs, and fries. What’s not to like?

Rei: I don’t eat meat or grease.

Teph: Don’t know what you’re missing.

Rei: Missing clogged arteries and premature heart attacks.

Rika: You didn’t complain this summer.

Rei: When you’re stuck in Egypt, you have to put up with some things.

Rika: Are you trying to say something?

Rei: No. But I still find sand in my shoes.

Back at the Dojo. Yami and Kyoro are sitting down to a nice meal.

Yami: So what do you call this?

Kyoro: Instant ramen.

Yami: Tastes the meal. Good, but I’m making dinner tomorrow.

Suddenly, the walls shake. They shake again, harder.

Yami: Sounds like the patients are awake.

Kyoro gets up. He takes two cups of noodles with him. He goes to Suratae and Yung-li’s room. More of the girls’ stuff is littering the floor. All only inches from the thrower.

Suratae: About damn time.

Yung: Yeah! I’m freaking hungry.

Kyoro: Here. Gives Suratae a cup. Low cal so you can shed some weight. Gives Yung-li a cup. All broth because the doctor says so.

Suratae: Are you saying I’m fat?

Yung: I want meat!

Kyoro starts leaving. The girls try throwing their soup at him. The cups spill all over both their futons. Kyoro drags two new beds into the room with two new cups of soup.

Kyoro: Don’t spill again. These are the last clean beds, and I’m not doing laundry until the morning.

Late night. Rika’s car is parked in front of a small cabin in a campsite. There is the sound of someone getting up and grumbling. An owl hoots. A loud crash is heard. A light goes on.

Rena: From inside. Damn it, Keona. Grow a backbone. I almost twisted my ankle.

Keona: From inside. Meekly. Sorry.

Teph: From inside. Hey, it is your fault if you didn’t see her. In fact, I didn’t even see her and she’s right next to me.

Rena: From inside. That’s ‘cause you’re blind, idiot!

Teph: From inside. I had my glasses on.

There is a bright flash from inside. There is thump. The light goes out.

Rei: From inside. Go back to sleep.

(22) Morning. In a nearby camp, two Andorians exit their cabin.

Andorian 1: Did you dream about surfing too?

Rika is heading down the road, following a river.

Keona: Where to next?

Rika: We’re following the Mississippi. All the way to N’ Orleans!

Teph: N’ Orleans! I’m out!

Teph jumps out of the car, but the car is on a bridge. Teph lands right in the river.

Rika: Son of a! Not again!

Rika speeds the car along the river. With one hand, Rika starts removing her shirt. They near another bridge.

Rika: Take the wheel.

Rena dives for the wheel as Rika ditches out of the car in only her underwear. Rena follows the side of the road. She stops alongside the river when she sees Rika drag Teph out of the river. Rika reaches randomly into the water and pulls out Teph’s glasses. Teph is passed out. Rika grabs her shirt back. Rika tosses Teph in the back and climbs in next to her.

Rika: Slips her shirt back. Let’s get back going.

Rena: You want to take over again?

Rika: Gets her shorts back on. You’re doing fine.

Rena continues following the river.

Rika: You might want to go faster if you want to make New Orleans by nightfall.

Teph: Snaps awake. Nightfall!

Teph jumps out of the car again. Again, they are on a bridge, and Teph goes under, again. Rika just sighs. She jumps in without removing her clothes. When Rena, catches up to them again, both girls are completely soaked. Rika tosses Teph in the back and climbs in again.

Rika: Just keep driving. And blast the heat so we can dry off.

The Dojo. The girls are still a little sick. The only activity they are allowed to do is play Dreamscape. JHM comes by to do one final check up. The girls remove their headsets when JHM enters.

JHM: All right, one final check. You two should be fine by now.

Suratae: 411 R!73 ! F!N41Y 600D 464!N !

Yung: 5W337 !

JHM: Crap! It is worse then I thought! They are possessed!

JHM tosses Kyoro a Bible. She gets out a small vial of holy water.

JHM: To Kyoro. You! Start at Psalm 41 and don’t stop until I tell you! To Yami. You! I’ll need a young priest and an old priest! Go! She starts throwing holy water on the girls. The power of Christ compels you! The power of Christ compels you!

Kyoro: Calm down. It is only chat 1337 [LEET]. That is how people talk online.

JHM: Really?

Kyoro: Really.

Suratae: W0RD

JHM tosses more holy water on Suratae.

Suratae: It burns! It burns!

Rena is still driving Rika’s car. They are passing through Quincy, Illinois, still following the Mississippi. All the other girls are sweltering since the heater is on full blast to dry Rika and Teph’s clothes. Most have also loosened their clothes. Rika has given Teph her glasses back. Rena notices something about the car.

Rena: What do I do when the little light comes on?

Rika: Which?

Rena: It is a red ‘H’.

Rika: Does the fuel gauge read ‘E’?

Rena: Uh...

Rei: Yes.

Rika: All right. Just pull over. We just need to refuel.

Rena pulls the car off the highway. She quickly finds a fuel station.

Rika: All right. We need to go in to pay for the fuel and get supplies. Who is most decent?

All the girls mumble and look embarrassed. Rei sighs. She gets out of the car. Rika hands Rei some money as she passes.

Rika: First one to the rest room gets to change first!

Rei sighs again. She enters the station store. She goes to the counter.

Rei: We would like a full refill, please.

Clerk 1: Where are you headed?

Rei: New Orleans.

Clerk 1: Won’t get there ‘til tomorrow.

Rei: We know.

Rei pays for the fuel. She waves back at the car. Rika notices and starts pumping the fuel. Rei sighs. She gets a small basket and starts meandering the store for food. Teph enters.

Teph: All right food!

Teph gets a basket and loads it with sweets.

Teph: Here. Gives the basket to Rei. Will you get this? You have the money.

Rei: Fine. Just leave it on the counter.

Teph leaves the basket. She exits as Ayu enters.

Ayu: Oh! Treats!

Ayu loads a basket with pastries and some spicy treats.

Ayu: To Rei. Where do you want this?

Rei: Just leave it on the counter.

Ayu exits as Rena enters. Rena fills a basket with candy and energy drinks. She leaves the basket on the counter and leaves. Rika enters.

Rika: San Fran to here on one tank.

Rika fills a basket with soda and cookies.

Rika: To Rei. Leaving it on the counter.

Rei: Fine.

Rei goes back to what she was doing. Her basket is full of healthy foods, fruit juices and Gatorade. The door opens again.

Keona: Rei...

Rei: What! Can’t you see I’m busy!

Keona disappears, crying.

Clerk 1: That was cool! Where’d you go?

Rei: Oh, Keona. I’m sorry. The others have just been annoying me so much.

Keona: Reappears. Even me and Rika?

Rei: Not you too, but the others for sure. What did you want?

Keona: Holds up a basket full of chips, soda, and even a can of turtle wax. Will you get this stuff for me?

Rei: Her eye is twitching. Counter it.

Keona leaves the basket on the counter and runs off. Rei takes her basket to the counter. The clerk starts ringing the total.

Rei: Please put the different baskets in different bags.

Clerk 1: Okay.

It takes some time to ring everything up.

Clerk 1: Total is ¥750.

Rei: Sighs. Okay.

Rei pays the bill. She lungs all the bags back to the car. All the girls grab their bags from Rei. Keona is a little nervous and blushes when she gets her bag.

Rika: Thanks a lot. You’re a great friend, Rei.

Rei sighs and gets in the car. She gives a small smile.

Rei: Thanks, Rika and Keona. You’re welcome, others.

Rei kicks the back of the seat causing Teph to spill her bag.

The group could not find a hotel and they all are sleeping in the car. Rika is sleeping on the hood with the blaster in hand. All the windows are up, and the doors are locked. The top is also up. A sign in the background reads: ‘Welcome to Hot Springs, Arkansas. Home of William Clinton, the 42nd and 46th President’.

Rika: In her sleep. Damn Tae...

Skynetmain is a currently a physics student at Cal Poly - SLO. He acknowledges plot holes and dropped story arcs and makes many a reference to them in his work. He loves discussing his stories at length if you have any questions.

Nessa sits here eating poptarts and drinking Dr Pepper, mindlessly approving random articles, lets hope they're all done!

WIS urges you to watch House on Tuesdays.

If you have any comments or suggestions about this article you are more then welcome to PM or email the author.