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Guess I'll Go Eat Worms

Written by: Twizzler


Hello! Hope you enjoy this work. As you may notice, it is written differently then most ‘normal’ stories. It is written in what I call ‘pseudo-screen’ format. I learned this style years ago for a film and radio class when we had to write scripts. I found that this style was easier for me. When I had to write a small script for a drama class, the teacher even said that this was a good format for the script. It is a little confusing to read at first, but it cuts out a lot of the fluff that ‘normal,’ book format has. Since this is like a script, I tend to think of the stories as episodes.


Another thing you will notice is that the episode has been broken into several parts. This is because I have a good habit of writing ‘long’ stories. I have set a minimum length of 10 pages typed in order to get all of the plot I want. This one is about 27-28 pages long since there was a lot of plot I wanted to get done (plus a fun little B-story) I apologize for the length, but I just have a lot to tell sometimes.)

This is set late in the Star Trek and Star Wars series but with many other series mixed in (notably the Gundam series). They make mention to the various Trek shows and occasionally to the Wars books. There are also countless references to other shows, books, movies, etc. If you haven’t seen or read any of the sources, it is okay since the story is enjoyable anyway. The series is heavily comedy so be prepared to laugh.


The main character of the series is Nohnaka Rika. She is ... hard to describe in such a small space. Daughter of the goddess Isis, but her brother is not. (Don’t worry. It is more complex than that too.) Very smart and athletic. Loves a good pun and Futurama references. Many of the other characters are her friends: Suratae, a spoiled Japanese princess with super speed; Teph, daughter of descendants of Aphrodite and Siegfried; Rena, a Dao priestess; Ayu, the Empress of Asia ... on a different Earth; Aerith, one of the top admirals in Starfleet; and Komu-chan, a brilliant young girl from a different dimension. And those are just some of the ones in this episode! Most are too complex to describe in such a small space, but I am more than willing to discuss them at length privately.


One last, important note on the characters: if they have a name and behavior similar to an anime character, that is because many were originally modeled on anime, video game, or other source characters. They do however change greatly from the original template.


- - -


Prologue: October 31, 2389. It is Rika and Jorden’s sixteenth birthday. They are holding a costume party at the Dojo. Rika is dressed as an Egyptian princess; Kyoro, as her loyal samurai bodyguard; and Bryan is her faithful eunuch. Jorden is dressed really scary, he is a businessman with Emilia as his secretary. Suratae forgot to dress up and came as a Japanese empress. Yung-li countered with Korean empress. Teph is going as her grandmother, only Aerith made her put on a shirt. Rena came as a Shaolin master (she’s not a master, yet.) All the guests are dressed in various costumes, Dex is Batman. Aerith is an angel. Dr. Forde is going scarier than Jorden. She is dressed as a teacher!


It is present time, and everyone is gathered in the main hall. It is Rika’s turn again. She picks up a small package.


Rika: Cool. Small. From mom.

Suratae: Which one?

Forde: Yo.

Rika opens the box. Inside is a set of keys.

Forde: Get your license then see me.

-----------------------

The next morning. San Francisco DMV. It is a normal morning, until a mobile suit lands in a parking space. It is Shining Gundam. The main hatch opens. Rika stumbles out.

Rika: Shouldn’t have partied all night.

Rika sleepily walks right off of the Gundam. A small crowd forms. Rika sits up.

Rika: Gotta take the driving test.

-----------------------

Hours later. Rika has gotten a shiny new drivers licence. She is meeting Forde outside of the Apartments. Forde is late. Suddenly, a car peels around curve in the street. It skids to a halt in front of Rika.

Forde: ‘57 Chevy Bel Air convertible. Got it painted turquoise for you.

Rika: Sweet.


(before 20/11) Weeks after her birthday. Rika is making plans for Thanksgiving break. She has gathered her friends, Suratae, Teph Rena, Ayu, Keona, and Rei. Yung-li and the guys are sitting in.


Rika: All right. It is Thanksgiving. I have a tight ride as you all know. Suratae nods enthusiastically. I was planning a little...

Suratae: Interrupts. Road Trip!! Whooo! Starts dancing.

Rika: Right.

Teph: But there are only room for five other besides the driver.

Rika: Which is why I’m inviting only my best friends.

The group of girls gets enthused, except for Rei.

Rika: Ayu, you’re in.

Ayu: Awesome.

Rika: Rena, totally in.

Rena: Sweet.

Rika: Teph, Keona, in.

Teph: All right.

Keona: Blushes. Sound fun.

Rika: Which leaves... Suratae is still partying. Rei.

Suratae freezes. Rei give a ‘do I have to?’ look.

Suratae: What about me?

Rika: I said my best friends.

Yung-li: Burn!


(20) Outside the Apartments, morning. Rika is loading her car with everyone’s bags. Each are bringing only a backpack with a few spare sets of clothes. Yung-li and Suratae are seeing the others off. Suratae is so upset that she is not even looking at Rika.


Yung: Have a great trip.

Teph: Definitely! Whoo!

Rika: To Teph. You. No touching anything. Teph looks sad.

Suratae: Growls.

Rika: Is everyone ready?

Rena: Ayu and Keona aren’t here yet.

Rei: Too bad. Let’s cancel the trip.

Rika: What’s to cancel? All we’re taking are a few changes of clothes and a fully charged fuel cell.

Rena: Wait. No food?

Teph: No hotels?

Rika: And no rules. Great, ne?

Suratae: Growls louder.

Ayu and Keona come running out of the Apartments. They toss their bags into the trunk.

Rika: About time.

Rei: Whoopie.

The girls get in the car. Rena takes the front while the others pile in the back. Rika starts the engine with a roar. The car powers off, but the roar continues. Suratae is glaring heavily at the leaving car.

Yung: Quit growling. I’ll treat you to lunch.


Rika’s Chevy is charging up the 101. They are easily going faster than what the car was designed to go.

Rika: Pretty sweet, ne? Mom did a great job refitting this thing.

Rei: Too fast.

Rika: Faster? Okay!

Rika revs for a second, but returns to her original speed. Rei gives an upset look.

Rena: Where are we headed anyway?

Rika: I was going to visit Carla. We should be there by the afternoon.

Teph: Great.

Rika: You sound like Rei.

Teph: Carla is weird. Too grabby.

Rika: We’re only going for a short visit. I want to be on the road before nightfall.

Rena: Then where are we staying for the night?

Rika: Probably somewhere in Idaho or Montana. I don’t want to head back toward SF for at least a day or so.

Keona: But will we have a hotel?

Rika: Don’t know. Don’t care. And neither should you.

Keona looks more worried than normal.


Seattle. Rika’s car is parked in front of a mansion. It is under an awning too keep it out of the pouring rain. Inside, Rika and friends are visiting with Carla. Teph is staring out of a window.

Teph: Wiping rain from her glasses. Just like Risa.

Carla: Not quite. On Risa, the rain is only accidental. Here, the weather satellites don’t work.

Rika: Blame Erik. After the Borg War, they never worked.

Rena: You sound like your mom.

Rika: Just stating a fact. He intentionally gave Earth bad weather satellites so that he could control the weather.

Carla: But we replaced them a couple years ago, with some my dad made.

All of the others try not to laugh.

Carla: Just say it.

All: No wonder they don’t work!

Carla: Now that we cleared that out of the way, where are you of to next.

Rika: Not sure. We would have been here sooner, but two things slowed me down.

Rena: That was slow?

Rika: There was a high pitched scream behind me since Eugene.

Ayu blushes.

Rika: Then somehow, traffic would disappear whenever I took a tight turn.

Keona disappears out of embarrassment.

Teph: Still raining.


San Francisco. Suratae and Yung-li are passing through part of the many different Asian sections. Street vendors have opened shop to celebrate various holidays. Yung-li gets a plate of kimchi [kim- chi]. Suratae joins her with three skewers of yaki [ya-ki] tori [to-ri] and a bowl of ramen [ra-men].

Suratae: So what if I’m not included! I only knew Rika the longest. She takes a large bite out of one of the skewers.

Yung: Rena knew her longer.

Suratae: All three skewers are gone. We may not have had the best relationship, but I was always her friend. Takes a long slurp of ramen.

Yung: You two fight as much or more so then we do.

Suratae: Finishes licking the bottom of the ramen bowl. I’m a princess! What is she! She’s a banjin if I’ve ever seen one! Ebi [e-bi] man, get over here!

A vendor brings over a tray of ebi over rice. Suratae starts eating the shrimp.

Yung: At least I can tell, you are what you eat...

Suratae: Slams down the empty tray. I’ll be right back.

Suratae gets up and heads toward the vendors.

Suratae: You! Unagi [u-na-gi or as I say, delicious] man! Get over here! Don’t you dare run from me!


Rika’s Chevy is parked in front of a motel in central Idaho. Inside one of the rooms, six girls are trying to get ready for bed.

Teph: Bangs on the bathroom door. Ayu! Hurry up in there! I want a shower, too!

Ayu: Exits the bathroom. Go ahead. Rena used all the hot water.

Rena: I had to use a heat spell to get hot water. It must have been one of the kids.

Rei: Looks up from a book she is reading. Kids?

Rena: I don’t know how we’re going to sleep tonight. There is only one bed.

Teph: Bursts from the bathroom wearing only a towel. The water’s too cold!

Keona: Eep! I’m sorry! She uses her powers to disappear.

Rei: Speaking of disappearing, where is Rika?

Rika: Walks into the room with a towel over her shoulders. Ain’t nothing like a good rinse.

Ayu: You were just outside...

Rika: Yeah. Found a hose around back. Figured it was better than nothing since Rei used up all the hot water.

Teph: From the shower. It was her!

Rei: I never said it wasn’t.

Rika: Besides, I’m sleeping outside tonight. I got everything I need in the trunk.

Rena, Ayu, and Keona watch Rika as she goes to the trunk of the car and removes a blaster rifle. Inside, Rei sighs.


At the Dojo, Suratae is pacing around fuming.

Yung: Get some sleep. It is past midnight.

Suratae: ♤☹✈⌚❂!!!!

Yung: Are you upset that Aerith left Kyoro in charge while she is away?

Suratae: Glares at Yung-li.

Yung: Just get some sleep. Be glad that we can go at least one day without dreaming of surfing.

Suratae continues pacing. She rounds a corner and bumps into something. Kyoro is standing there glaring at her. She is about to glare back, but notices Kyoro has his blaster.

Suratae: Hmpf!

Suratae turns and heads back to her room. Kyoro returns to his room, too.

Yami: Good decision. If it were me, I might have challenged her to a Shadow Game.

Kyoro: Got to be careful. She’s dumb enough to win.

Suratae: From her room. I heard that!




Skynetmain is a currently a physics student at Cal Poly - SLO. He acknowledges plot holes and dropped story arcs and makes many a reference to them in his work. He loves discussing his stories at length if you have any questions.


Nessa is always open to ideas and help for Pink Ink, in between editing and writing she likes to plot to Pink Ink empire strategy.


If you have any comments or suggestions about this article you are more then welcome to PM the author.