What is a Krabby Patty made of exactly?

[Light]

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The Krabby Patty : the burger Spongebob will come to hate once he is a 75 year old heart patient - who is only 34. Yes, the famous Krabby Patty. So, what is this dish made of? We travelled great distances and have gone under many stinky mattresses to get you the awnser.

Ingredients for a Krabby Patty

2 Seaweed Seed Buns
Patty
Sea Lettuce
Sea Cheese
Onions
Tomatoes
Mustard, Ketchup, and Mayonnaise
Pickles
Secret Sauce

It should be noted that this had no citiation next to it, so it may not be accurate. But this raises, a question, a conspiracy. How do they get the patties? Are they made out of cows or something else? How do they get the cows, tomatoes and onions in the sea? Do Cows in the sea make Sea Cheese? Are the pickles made out of sea cucumbers (which automatically disqualifies it to be a vegetable)? What is Farmer Jenkins hiding?

So, what do you think? What do you think is in a Krabby Patty?

[Dustin]

Maybe they're made of... humans.
We make them out of animals, so they can make them out of humans.

Who names their restaurant The Krusty Krab anyway...? Not a good name, at all.

[Asthaloth]

Maybe they're made of... humans.
We make them out of animals, so they can make them out of humans.

Who names their restaurant The Krusty Krab anyway...? Not a good name, at all.

So the Dolphins nefarious scheme is revealed...

[Ski]

Don’t you get it, you crustaceous cheapskate! I can’t make a Double Krabby Patty with the works! I can’t put a patty on a bun, with lettuce, cheese, onions, tomatoes, ketchup, mustard, pickles, and top bun together in that order!

There you have it. Here's the one to wonder about:

I’ll take a Double Triple Bossy Deluxe on a raft, 4x4, animal-style, extra shingles with a shimmy and a squeeze, light axle grease, make it cry, burn it, and let it swim.

[Jenna!]

Wasn't plankton also in it?

[Light]

Wasn't plankton also in it?

Nope
That was a fake recipe.

[halfbakedbliss]

The Krabby Patty Secret Formula is how they are prepared, not the ingredients.

[Light]

The Krabby Patty Secret Formula is how they are prepared, not the ingredients.

But, then again : there's that secret sauce.

[halfbakedbliss]

The Krabby Patty Secret Formula is how they are prepared, not the ingredients.

But, then again : there's that secret sauce.

I bet it's made out of money.

[3lla]

it probably made out of squid worths hair

[shapu]

There you have it. Here's the one to wonder about:

I’ll take a Double Triple Bossy Deluxe on a raft, 4x4, animal-style, extra shingles with a shimmy and a squeeze, light axle grease, make it cry, burn it, and let it swim.

Raft: Toast instead of bun
4x4: ??
animal-style: ??
Extra shingles: More pickles OR cheese, I'm never sure which.
shimmy: ??
squeeze: ??
Light axle grease: ??
Make it cry: Leave it rare on the inside
Burn it: Turn up the griddle to a ridiculous temperature and scorch the outside
Let it swim: Extra sauces

[DM was on fire!]

Light axle grease may be extra of some sort of sauce.

Whoever edited Wikipedia forgot the most important part -- love. D: