Wooden Man Competition |CLOSED!| (Third "Match")

[lionheartwitty]

You can lead a horse to water, but that annoying butterfly will still catch your att... Oooh, a butterfly!

4 "whits" and a bottled butterfly.

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't use your l33t ninja skillz on your sibilings... or can you...

3 "whits" and a Boy Scouts of America Physical Fitness merit badge. I wonder how that will be used in the last "match"...

IM LYK WINNING AN STUFF LYK!!!111!!!11oneone11!!shift+1!!!!!!111elavon111!!!11111one11

Um SM, Twinkle I think that meant that this round is over...

If you'll read the rules, you'll see that this "match" isn't over until I prevent any more people from entering the contest. For your zealousy, you recieve a can of onion soda. I wonder what that tastes like.

Oh my, one of your "whits" is trying to crawl away, CD. Maybe you pushed a little too hard with the first paragraph of that last post. You might catch it on time while you're playing the second "match". Do that in the middle of the next entry.

<)_WKR,-------wor-0wqor?>

Match Toooo-eeee
Write a short story of how you would defeat or escape a bloodthirsty bear. Take care to keep the violence down, though. Don't warp my ickle mind!

(I'm closing this contest to hereafter include only those who have already made their first entry at this point.)

[Scholastic]

Go, Abra! Use Teleport with me!
ABRA used TELEPORT!
Abra saved my life.

"Short" story, isn't it?

[WIS]

WIS was lyk walking thru da wuds w/o any reason wen...

WIS: LYK OMG A BLOODTHSIRTY BEAR!!!!111!!!11!
BEAR: RAWR! I LYK PWNZ U!
WIS: LYK OMG COOKIES!!!111
BEAR: LYK OMG WERE!?!?!?!
WIS: LYK OMG THERE!!!!
BEAR: LYK OMG COOKIES!!!! COOKIES ROXORZ MA SOX!!!11!!11
WIS: LYK OMG I GOT AWAY LYK OMG YAY!

[TDG]

Thisonetime,atbearcamp.Abandcame.Sowewerealllike,"notaband!".
Theystartedlikeplayingtheirmusicandwewerealllike"No!Notmusic!"sothetrumpetsstartedplaying.
Wewerealllike"Noooo!Nottrumpets!!"andtheykeptplayingandwecouldn'tstopthem. ThenIcameupwiththisgreatideaandwelikehuddledaround.
Thetrumpetsstoppedplayingandthesaxophonesbegunandwelikecouldn'ttakeanymoresoIgrabbedthedrumstickandhurleditatthembutithitabear
ThebearwaslikeangryandstuffsoIthrewadrummerathimandthebearlikecuddleditandranoffintothewoods.

[.:Compact Disk:.]

I'd *catches whit trying to get away* Fart.

Last edited by .:Compact Disk:. on Fri Jun 03, 2005 5:11 pm, edited 1 time in total.

[JellyFish72]

I was at a mountain lodge with a group of 20 of my friends. We were having a party, and, being the cool people we were, left all of our food outside when we went in to sleep that night. So, we wake up to find a family of bears standing over us

[sir_michael]

Well, since I'm a Canadian, I am an Expert at escaping bears. This is whatcha gotta do, eh? You gotta run and scream for your life, and while running, throw cute little fuzzy forest animals at the bear, they might slow it down, eh?

So that's what you gotta do when you see a bloodthirsty bear, eh?

[Syrill]

Well, this one time this bear came after me and it growled really loudly. So this tale about how to get rid of annoying bears is like a first hand experience. =P My freaky friend said something crazy about how it was scary and ferocious and it would try to eat me. I decided that it wasn't so I fed it an apple, or was it a pear, I never rememb...OH A CHERRY!!! but I guess it didn't like apples because it growled some more and slashed at me with it's claws. In this difficult circumstance, I did only what sane people would do. I commented on it's yellowed teeth and pulled out a portable giant toothbrush, ALWAYS BE PREPARED!, to brush it's teeth. I then started flossing... Several times it kept biting down but I whacked it with a squirrel until it calmed down. It's eyes started glowing red then so I decided that it needed sunglasses or something. Minutes later, I had dragged it to the sunglass store, conveniently located in a tree stump. The glasses looked suspiciously like they had been constructed of OMG!!! GLASS!!! so I threw them over the side of the mountain. Then, I pulled out a handy bottle of window cleaner and sprayed it in the bear's eyes. It howled in happiness, I think, and I began wiping it's eyes with a piece of moss I found. Then, suddenly it began charging at me and growling. I agreed with it. It's nails were too long. So I grabbed a kangaroo somewhere in Australia and threw it at the oncoming bear of ultimate friendliness. The bear stopped in it's tracks and I pulled out a handy pair of shoes and proceeded to remove those horrible nails. Then, it was even happier as it proceeded to destroy a nearby tree by running headfirst into it. I stared at it and decided that my bear friend needed one last thing and I gave it a GREAT BIG hug! o.O Then the bear stopped moving. So I did the only sensible thing...I poked it. It's still sleeping I think. Shhh!!! Don't wake him up! He's cranky. Hmm...It's not breathing. AAAAHHHH!!! Do you think he's sleeping? Maybe I should call an ambul...OH LOOK!!! It's a lion!! FRIEND!!!

Last edited by Syrill on Fri Jun 03, 2005 10:29 pm, edited 1 time in total.

[krisgp]

See, all bears have an inferiority complex. So, clearly, the easiest way to defeat a bear is to stand there and insult it.
"Your mammas so furry, she went to a carpet factory and they tried to nail her to the floor"

"Your mammas so ugly, she had you to cover it up!"

Keep doing this, varying the type and degree of the insult and evenetually, you will have a giant, crying furball. The end result- a completely broken down bear that is now ready to be molded into what ever you please.

Once you've broken the bear down, you have to re build hiim, but the trick is to do it in such a way that he is now trained to your every beck and call. He'll do anything for you now... including not chasing you through the woods.

[Trinity]

So, I was just lying on the floor in my pretend home in Fiji, writing silly fanfiction of when Yukio used the love smilie in an awkward way and singing PotO. Then, this bear comes along. OMGWTF. It's a polar bear. On a tropical island. Sounds familiar, but I just can't put my finger on it... Well, anyways. So, I'm at the last part of the song where Christine starts to vocalise strangely; and this OMGWTF polar bear ish going, "Rawr." Then, when I hit that high E; I used my super secret powers of doom to make the OMGWTF polar bear run through the wall. And the windows broke. Then, I saw a butterfly and chased it; and on my way out, I saw the OMGWTF polar bear cowering on the ground. So my advice to you, when an OMGWTF polar bear; or any type of bear approaches you; remember to use super secret powers of doom. And a high E.

[lionheartwitty]

Scholastic gets 3 "whits" and an Ultra Ball.

WIS obtains lyk 3 "whits" and cookiez.

the_dog_god wins 3 "whits" and a cute teddy bear.

.:CD:. winds up with 3 "whits" as well, but one of them is actually a large gas relief tablet, so only 2.

JellyFish72 finds 4 "whits" and a large bowl of porridge that is too hot. Tragically, good old JF72 forgot they were supposed to have the hiccups, and so they will have them on the next "match" or I'll take a "whit" away.

sir_michael wins 3 "whits" and a small cage inhumanely packed with small furry woodland creatures.

Syrill manages to find 4 "whits" and a fruit basket.

krisgp get 4 "whits" and the top item of this round, a bear costume.

Trinity get 4 "whits" and a deadly microphone.

[Trinity]

Let's see... The scores/items are:

Trinity- 8 whits, a bottled butterfly, and a deadly microphone(Hmm... Evil butterfly... Deadly microphone... Moohaha! )
krisgp- 7 whits, a piece of twine a meter long, and a bear costume
Syrill- 7 whits, a dozen apples, and a fruit basket
.:CD:.- 6 whits, a shiny new pair of Leprachaun Monkey sized roller skates, & a gas relief tablet
Jellyfish72- 6 whits, the hiccups, and a large bowl of really hot porridge
sir_michael- 6 whits, a Boy Scouts of America Physical Fitness merit badge(even though he lives in Canada. *blink*), and a small cage packed with small woodland animals
the_dog_god- 6 whits, car leads, and a cute teddy bear
Scholastic- 5 whits and an Ultra Ball
WIS- 5 whits, a small microwave oven, and cookiez
Hiddenneggs- 3 whits and a useless Dreamcast
Jens- 3 whits and a jar of jelly

Dear Lord, I'm winning! I never win anything! I'd like to thank my parents, my loving husband, my good friends at school, Bob, TrinBob, but most of all, lionheartwitty because he's the one who gave me all of these wonderful whits. *Cries of happiness*

Hiddenneggs and Jens still have to get their entries in, me thinks.

[sir_michael]

Let's see... The scores/items are:

Trinity- 8 whits, a bottled butterfly, and a deadly microphone(Hmm... Evil butterfly... Deadly microphone... Moohaha! )
krisgp- 7 whits, a piece of twine a meter long, and a bear costume
Syrill- 7 whits, a dozen apples, and a fruit basket
.:CD:.- 6 whits, a shiny new pair of Leprachaun Monkey sized roller skates, & a gas relief tablet
Jellyfish72- 6 whits, the hiccups, and a large bowl of really hot porridge
sir_michael- 6 whits, a Boy Scouts of America Physical Fitness merit badge(even though he lives in Canada. *blink*), and a small cage packed with small woodland animals
the_dog_god- 6 whits, car leads, and a cute teddy bear
Scholastic- 5 whits and an Ultra Ball
WIS- 5 whits, a small microwave oven, and cookiez
Hiddenneggs- 3 whits and a useless Dreamcast
Jens- 3 whits and a jar of jelly

Dear Lord, I'm winning! I never win anything! I'd like to thank my parents, my loving husband, my good friends at school, Bob, TrinBob, but most of all, lionheartwitty because he's the one who gave me all of these wonderful whits. *Cries of happiness*

Hiddenneggs and Jens still have to get their entries in, me thinks.

Yah, I should have a Boy Scouts of Canada Merit Badge!

Woot! I'm a loving husband!

[lionheartwitty]

Trinity and sir_michael both get a bag of candy hearts.

I'll post the next "match" when somebody helps me with my darn inactive begging for technical help thread.

http://205.234.213.172/~pinkptc/forum/v ... hp?t=17672

[Trinity]

Trinity and sir_michael both get a bag of candy hearts.

I'll post the next "match" when somebody helps me with my darn inactive begging for technical help thread.

http://205.234.213.172/~pinkptc/forum/v ... hp?t=17672

Thankies for the candies! Mmm, sugar!

Someone posted there to help, can the round start now? Pwease? (I'm being very impatient because I'm freezing cold, rather hungry, and I have rope burn on my poor 'lil leggie. Oh, and now I have the hiccups.)