A Day in the Life of a Quarternion

Written by: Matt

I guess I should introduce myself, yes?

Well, my name is Quentin, and I'm a quarternion. There's something you don't hear every day. My name isn't really Quentin, it's actually 2 + 3i + 7j - k, but I think Quentin is easier to say. I'm betting most of you have never heard of a Quarternion. They're not your usual everyday number that you bump into walking down the street. If you walk into a shop, you ask for four carrots or, if you're awkward, 3.54 carrots. But you would never ask for 2 + 3i + 7j - k carrots.

So, what exactly am I? Well, first of all, imagine a number line. A simple number line running from left to right. Now, be prepared to be confused and disturbed. Imagine this number line going up and down. Numbers on this line don't really exist, but by pretending they do, mathematicians have a much easier job. That's why they call these numbers the imaginary numbers. Got that?

Great, now, let's up the stakes. Imagine the number line has just shot out the page, and is now in the third dimension. Now for the tricky bit. These numbers are used so infrequently, that they're not given a name. Three may be the magic number, but three-dimensional numbers are a bit rubbish, really.

Now for the cool stuff, imagine a fourth dimension, and the line shooting off in that direction. If you don't understand, don't worry. Most people don't, including me. Us quarternions often argue about our own existence, much like you humans I suppose. Now, in this space that you have just created, any point is a quarternion, like me. Each quarternion is a bit like a point on a graph, I suppose. It's a certain amount left; a certain amount up; a certain amount out and a certain amount using another preposition that hasn't been created yet.

I guess now that we understand each other, I should let you into a little secret...I'm tremendously lonely. Each of the numbers on the number line get used a lot, and even two-dimensional numbers get some attention, but I'm just a poor little emo quarternion getting no love. If you look at a number line, you can't even see me. It's really quite depressing. The only time I ever get any attention is when professors are curious about me, but they abandon us, thinking we're too complicated. They're so scared of our complexity we're hardly taught at all any more. It's really quite depressing.

And it's not like we chose to be stupidly complicated. Sure, arithmetic with us is freakishly difficult, but this can be seen as a challenge, surely? What other number system forbids you from doing nearly anything in case you break it? People just have to be careful not to multiply...or divide, that's all. It's not that hard.

Admittedly, we're not particularly useful either. But that isn't a reason to brand us as useless and not fit for purpose. Why can't they find a purpose for us, rather than throwing us in a cupboard and pretending we simply don't exist. It's not our fault that scientists aren't clever enough to think in four dimensions.

So, do you want to support me in my quest to become commonly used again! If so, then write proudly in your Maths lessons, "I believe in 2 + 3i + 7j - k!" Ask proudly in your greengrocer for 2 + 3i + 7j - k carrots! And remember this, that 2 + 3i + 7j - k may one day be your superior.

Matt really bewilders his grocers sometimes.

Pudding intends to grow 2 + 3i + 7j - k carrots in her garden this year. She edited this article and made the icon.

If you have any comments or suggestions about this article you are more then welcome to PM or email the author.