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Written by: Dragonfire

This is a representation of how evil Alex actually is. Don’t understand? Well, stop your worrying cause I’m going to explain.

It all starts about, what? Fifteen or sixteen years ago, I suppose…picture a young girl, dark hair, small emo glasses. See the icon for this article for an recent mugshot. Then go back in time fifteen years. You’ll see what I mean.

Well, this young girl, who may or may not actually be Alex, the incidents that follow afterwards make this unclear for archaeologist’s and various other scientists to decide. There is still a worldwide debate whether or not the girl that was to be fifteen years ago is actually Alex.

Well, anyway. Forget the debate, I know differently. This young girl I was talking about. She was actually exposed to radioactive material when she was young. Like that green lump of stuff Homer Simpson has down his back when he’s driving in the intro. Only much larger, and much more green.

One thing scientists do agree on is that she actually consumed some of this nuclear waste. This is evident because her internal organs show a green tinge when under UV light, and the major ones you can see through the skin: especially her heart. With is pretty weird, since it’s said to be made out of stone, or some other natural mineral like that; Maybe rock salt or solid lava rock. Don’t ask me out how it works, maybe like Ben Grimm from Fantastic Four.

So. Girl eats radioactive material. Obviously if you ate radioactive material, you would be hospitalised, right? I mean, it is just not possible for a human being to eat something that is radioactive, unless it is coffee. Since coffee can be radioactive and not really harm you (directly, anyway.) Of course lets forget that titbit of information, it is irrelevant to what I’m trying to say. As a general rule: Do not eat radioactive material. It will kill you. Wouldn’t you agree? If you eat stuff that glows green, you go to some place else.

Well, the girl ate the green stuff, so she definitely isn’t completely human.

Well, what happened to her, did I hear you ask? Well, Indiana Jones found her while he was in Pankot Palace fighting the Thuggees. The evil cult that worshipped Kali and the glowing stones. Yes. You heard me right. She isn’t pictured in the movie because having a green child would lead to controversy. The movie was made in 1984. Gotta keep it realistic.

Anyway, she finally escaped into India sometime after and migrated to South America and headed up towards Mexico when she was picked up by a vacationing scientists, a rare occurance, I’m sure. From there, well, don’t tell the Government, but she was smuggled into the US. Probably in suitcase made out of lead. She was really green by this time, and scientists tend to have those, don’t they?

After a brief stay at the scientist’s home in Florida, she was taken away and jumbled up into the bureaucratic jungle of the CIA Files. From there she was taken and placed in The Shop’s research facility where Charlie McGee was taken and later incinerated with her pyrokinetic powers.

Anyway, while the girl was at the research facility, it was rumoured that extensive surgery was done to try and find the source of the radioactiveness, and the end result was that it was actually all removed and studied, from what has been stated, various arteries, and vital organs were removed and transplanted, along with limbs (citation needed!).

So this new person, is stated to be the new Alex. CIA does not comment on what surgery was actually performed, but independent doctors who’ve studied Alex believe a whole lot more than just a few organs were replaced. They say constructive surgery to the spine and brain stem, and frontal lobe of the brain, too.

For quite a while after the surgery was performed, Alex was moved around various to different facilities, even a nice sunny one in Hawaii. Alex recalls no real memory of this due to her constant drug-induced state and will openly admit that she spent the entire time in Fiji. Luckily, due to a mistaken amount of shot of morphine that counter-acted the other drugs. Alex was able to escape out of the facility in Minnesota. She has been on the run ever since, and has returned to the vacationing scientist in Mexico.

That only leaves one question, you ask? What about the streets of fire, you say? Well, Alex displays a personality disorder, which urges her to give people stuff that is very addictive, including songs. Then she laughs at you while you repeatedly take/play/use it. She sent me one, you know, “Streets of Fire” it is called. And poor old me, I was addicted straight away. However, I managed to fight back the urge to have it placed permanently on repeat until I died of a song-induced overdose. She has various other disorders, but you ask her yourself, I’m afraid. She’ll kill me for saying this much.

She also dumped water on the head of the guy she liked in 4th grade.

P.S. SHE’S EVIL. XANDRA IS EVIL. STAY AWAY FROM HER!

Paul considers it his solemn duty to alert the world to the fact that his friends are evil.

Nessa is probably not evil, as all Pink Ink editors are required to be beings of good and light.

If you have any comments or suggestions about this article you are more then welcome to PM the author.