I feel sorta scared now.. I read something that bothered me.

[Ryddelboxxer]

I know death is inevitable.. But.. It's not like sex, drugs, or eating, or anything..

You can't just.. Try it, to see what it's like, then decide whether or not you want to go through with it..

It's.. Unknown.. Where would I go..?

If there really is a God, would he ever want me? If not, do I just.. Fade away? What happens? Would I be reincarnated? Rejoin with everybeast whos ever died before..?

I don't knwo what'll happen I might even become a ghost.. Nobody can prove what happens whe you die..

And I'm afraid..

[Arka]

It's normal to think about death and even to worry about it, from time to time.

There's the Serenity Prayer:

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

the courage to change the things I can,

and the wisdom to know the difference.

and Desiderata:

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble, it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labours and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

----These are two inspirational pieces. I'd also recommend finding what you like in life - music, reading, playing games, helping others, and thinking about and doing them.

Something else that might help is to volunteer at a Senior Center- there are a lot of wonderful and wise people there who would be glad to see you.

For the others who posted who have lost loved ones, my heart goes out to you. It isn't easy to lose someone you care about.

[Ryddelboxxer]

The only things that matter to me is my Cat, Teddy Bear, and reading/anime...

Mnn.. I try to focus on those, I do..

Those two peices are very touching..

[May]

If you spend too much time thinking about death and what happens after that, you're going to miss out on all the good things and people around you. Focus on what's important to you.

[Ryddelboxxer]

I try to.. I really do.. But not much really matters to me...

[cyleigh]

This is something that bothers me a lot.

I have a congenital heart condition. What this means is that I had open heart surgery at the age of 5 and have had a pacemaker since then. I thank God that I live in a time where this surgery could be performed and I didn't die as a child.

Unfortunately, my life expectancy is not very good. It is hard for the doctors to give a good indication about how long I might live due to the fact that I am one of the oldest living people with my condition. They think that I will probably suffer heart failure in my early 40's and without a heart/lung transplant I will die. If I ever get pregnant.. they think I will die.

Since I am now 25, my life is in theory half over. However, you can't dwell on the negative side of all of this. If all you think about is dying then you will have never lived. I try to do something each day to remind myself that I am alive now and to be thankfull for that.

[the_neopia_fairy]

Sometimes I'm a little bothered about death, but then I think, "Hey, what's to be scared of? You're not the only person that'll die, you know. Everyone and everything that is, ever was, or ever will be will die. Whatever's on the other side, it's something that everyone will face together." That always makes me feel better.

[Morningstar]

This is something that bothers me a lot.

I have a congenital heart condition. What this means is that I had open heart surgery at the age of 5 and have had a pacemaker since then. I thank God that I live in a time where this surgery could be performed and I didn't die as a child.

Unfortunately, my life expectancy is not very good. It is hard for the doctors to give a good indication about how long I might live due to the fact that I am one of the oldest living people with my condition. They think that I will probably suffer heart failure in my early 40's and without a heart/lung transplant I will die. If I ever get pregnant.. they think I will die.

Since I am now 25, my life is in theory half over. However, you can't dwell on the negative side of all of this. If all you think about is dying then you will have never lived. I try to do something each day to remind myself that I am alive now and to be thankfull for that.

Oh, cyleigh, that is so sad--yet you are so brave and so determined to live your life to its fullest. Some people get angry or bitter when they learn something like that. You are the opposite.

The best friend I mentioned in my earlier post died at age 15 of a congenital heart condition that--at the time--was nonreversible. She was expected to live no longer than age 18. Her parents found out about it shortly after she was born and decided to never tell her or any one else--not even her brothers or sisters--so that she could live a normal life without having to worry if her next breath would be her last. Sometimes not knowing is a good thing.

You never know, cyleigh, those doctors could very well be wrong or new technology could change things. After all, a few years ago, people with AIDS were given an automatic death sentence. But, the new drugs out there have kept many, many of them alive much longer than anyone ever thought.

Your situation makes me feel incredibly fortunate. Like one of my good friends once told me, "I cried because I had no shoes, until I saw a man who had no feet."

[Ryddelboxxer]

I'm so sorry to everyone..Those of you who've lost someone.. And you, cyleigh... I'm very proud of you, that you've faced it, and accepted it..

I do'nt think I'd ever be able to..

All you people seem so strong willed.. I know I'm not..Tha'ts why I tried to commit suicide awhile back..

Ever since then, death has haunted my mind, but it was only recently brought out, due to that siggy..

You people here have changed me I think.. i'm starting to see things a little bit diferently..

Thank you all..

[Morningstar]

I'm so sorry to everyone..Those of you who've lost someone.. And you, cyleigh... I'm very proud of you, that you've faced it, and accepted it..

I do'nt think I'd ever be able to..

All you people seem so strong willed.. I know I'm not..Tha'ts why I tried to commit suicide awhile back..

Ever since then, death has haunted my mind, but it was only recently brought out, due to that siggy..

You people here have changed me I think.. i'm starting to see things a little bit diferently..

Thank you all..

Hey, I am glad to have helped.

You need to see that you are not alone in these feelings. Quite a lot of people fear death and feel helpless about it. So, you aren't a freak or misfit or anything, OK?

And, I can say that, though I am strong-willed, I have my moments when life makes no sense and seems hopeless. But then, eventually, I remember that it could always be worse. Someone out there has it worse than me. Then I pick myself up, dust myself off, and get back to living life.

You really should find someone in real life to talk to about these things. It doesn't have to be a professional person, though a lot of them are really good people. If there is someone in your life that you trust, talk to them. I was lucky when I was a kid, I had a wonderful sister-in-law (my brothers were way older than me) that became like a second mom to me. I don't know what I would have done without her.

But, if you don't have anyone in your life that you feel comfortable talking to, you might want to try an outreach program specifically for your age group. There are all types of support groups out there run by social organizations and governmental organizations--and they don't cost anything to attend--and are confidential. It might be of help to see that there are others going through the same sort of things as you.

I wish you peace in your life.

[cyleigh]

Thankyou both for your replies.

Ryddelboxxer, everybody has these feelings and you are certainly not the first person to contemplate suicide.

As Morningstar mentioned, one of the most helpful things that I have done to deal with this is to talk to other people. Sometimes the people that you are closest to can be wonderful and helpful and sometimes they are unable to help you. For example, my fiance (weird saying that.. he only proposed on Friday) is wonderful to talk to ... he has never made me feel 'wrong' for feeling the way I do. I also try to talk to others with my condition.. a little hard since it is so rare, but again thankgoodness for the internet.

Some of the people you know might not be able to talk to you about this. For example, my mother can't handle talking about the possiblity of my death at all. While this is upsetting for me, I know that she has her own problems,

What I am trying to say is -- just find somebody that you can talk to. You say that I am brave, but I say that I am only brave because the people that I love and talk to are brave enough to help me through this.

[Qanda]

A saying someone had in their siggy on neopets,

If life is so painful, why is death feared?

And it got me thinking.. about death..

Now, I feel really depressed, and nervous and scared of dying.. I.. Never realy thought about death before...

Everyone dies someday, it's nothing to be feared... I don't think that siggy was overly inapporpriate since it is just those typical nuggets of "wisdom". I don't see why you should feel depressed after reading it unless you were already facing emotional problems.

[OmniIcyshelf]

I'm not bothered with anything but the fact that my life probably isn't going to make an ounce of difference. Even the greatest of men just fade away into history and legend, and nobody really cares about them after that.

[Morningstar]

I'm not bothered with anything but the fact that my life probably isn't going to make an ounce of difference. Even the greatest of men just fade away into history and legend, and nobody really cares about them after that.

Ouch, don't even say that! If the greatest of men just faded away, we wouldn't have civil rights, electricity, or a cure for polio, freed slaves or even freedom for that matter. Or the millions upon millions of things that one person has done to help others.

Not everyone can be Martin Luther King, Ghandi, or Bobby Kennedy, yet we can all make a difference--even if it is only to another person, it is still a difference. Because you don't know if that difference will then affect that person to make a further difference to another person, and on and on.

[hiddenneggs]

And in the words of MLK:

All life is inter-related. We are all caught up in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied into a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one affects all indirectly.

And while we're at it:

Let no man imagine that he has no influence. Whoever he may be, and wherever he may be, the man who thinks, becomes a light and a power.

To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.

Despair and isolation are my greatest internal enemies, I need to remember I am not alone, even when it feels that way.

Forget trying to pass for normal. Follow your geekdom. Embrace your nerditude. In the immortal words of Lafcadio Hearn, a geek of incredible obscurity whose work is still in print after a hundred years, "Woo the muse of the odd." . . . You may be a geek. You may have geek written all over you. You should aim to be one geek they'll never forget. Don't aim to be civilized. Don't hope that straight people will keep you on as some kind of pet. To hell with them. You should fully realize what society has made of you and take a terrible revenge. Get weird. Get way weird. Get dangerously weird. Get sophisticatedly, thoroughly weird, and don't do it halfway. Put every ounce of horsepower you have behind it. . . . Don't become a well-rounded person. Well-rounded people are smooth and dull. Become a thoroughly spiky person. Grow spikes from every angle. Stick in their throats like a pufferfish.