06.06.07 Planned downtime

Message

#1 Post by **Hunter Lupe** » Tue Jun 05, 2007 12:08 am

Due to unforeseen technical difficulties we've encountered in the admin panel during the past few days, the forums will be taken offline to perform critical maintenance at 0800 GMT on Wednesday, 06.06.07.

While the forums are offline for ordinary visitors, we plan to inspect, feed, and possibly replace some of the twelve thousand hamsters we employ to work in giant hamster wheel electrical generators to power to the admin panel, remove the thick layer of dust currently covering the floors of our forum dungeons, renegotiate Arrow's employment contract as well as return the comfy pillows, currently residing in the Burrow (moderators, enough already, you know those pillows don’t belong to you!), to their proper locations.

We do expect the forums to return to normality* in under 48 hours after the downtime begins, but due to the complex nature of the planned maintenance we cannot exclude a two-week holiday for all of you just yet. Updates will appear here as the maintenance progresses.

The Administrator Team
Staff: see section 42 of the moderator handbook, subsection 13c.
* Note that due to the nature of our information storage facilities (read: hamsters that remember stuff while providing electrical power for the forums), we can not guarantee that all of your posts, signatures, avatars, post counts, ranks, user groups, moderating privileges, private messages, passwords, sanity, e-mail addresses, private messages, private ranks, hidden stashes of gold, oversized signature images, pre-selected forum avatars, news posts, anything I’ve forgotten, space filter material, statements of doubt regarding short attention span and long meaningless lists written in an obnoxiously small font obviously intended to get read anyway, other passwords, yet more hitherto unknown privileges, and/or accounts whose usernames start with letters K, J, H, R or W will make it through unscathed. The effect of a lack of forum exposure has not been certified by the FDA. May cause restlessness or drowsiness in lab animals. Do not check if the forums are back online while operating machinery. The wait may be too intense for some visitors. Do not eat the forums. The forums are not a toy. If we never see each other again, good luck!

Fiddelysquat · #2 Post by **Fiddelysquat** » Tue Jun 05, 2007 12:16 am

I TOLD you the hamsters were unreliable! What's so wrong with child labor? They didn't require nearly as many wood chips.

#3 Post by **Hunter Lupe** » Tue Jun 05, 2007 12:17 am

Fiddelysquat wrote:I TOLD you the hamsters were unreliable! What's so wrong with child labor? They didn't require nearly as many wood chips.

You've got twelve thousand children to spare? Thought not - hamsters were our only choice!

Fiddelysquat · #4 Post by **Fiddelysquat** » Tue Jun 05, 2007 12:18 am

Hunter Lupe wrote:
Fiddelysquat wrote:I TOLD you the hamsters were unreliable! What's so wrong with child labor? They didn't require nearly as many wood chips.

You've got twelve thousand children to spare? Thought not - hamsters were our only choice!

You thought wrong.

COME OUT, COME OUT, WHEREEEVVEERR YOU AREEE!

Uncle Xyzzy · #5 Post by **Uncle Xyzzy** » Tue Jun 05, 2007 12:24 am

We stopped employing child labor?

That's how I got here; I escaped...

#6 Post by **Hunter Lupe** » Tue Jun 05, 2007 12:25 am

The moral implications are just too great.

Besides, someone would have to adjust the size of our hamster wheel electric generators, and I'm too lazy to do that, and don't trust anyone else to get it quite right. Think you can get them to clean the dungeons on the day, though? And the hamsters may need someone to care for them...

#7 Post by **Siouxper** » Tue Jun 05, 2007 12:29 am

Fiddelysquat wrote:
Hunter Lupe wrote:
Fiddelysquat wrote:I TOLD you the hamsters were unreliable! What's so wrong with child labor? They didn't require nearly as many wood chips.

You've got twelve thousand children to spare? Thought not - hamsters were our only choice!

You thought wrong.

COME OUT, COME OUT, WHEREEEVVEERR YOU AREEE!

*Hides*

Is this like some kind of June Fools thing?

and/or accounts whose usernames start with letters K, J, H, R or W

That means you Kymmy, Hunter Lupe, Jasujo, Rune. It just happens to be the usernames of all the admins.

Christopher · #8 Post by **Christopher** » Tue Jun 05, 2007 12:33 am

Hunter Lupe wrote:The moral implications are just too great.

Besides, someone would have to adjust the size of our hamster wheel electric generators, and I'm too lazy to do that, and don't trust anyone else to get it quite right. Think you can get them to clean the dungeons on the day, though? And the hamsters may need someone to care for them...

Bah, I only use the finest giant mutant hamsters. That way when I innevitably have to switch to child labour they'll fit in the wheels. It's called future proofing your organisation.

#9 Post by **Hunter Lupe** » Tue Jun 05, 2007 12:35 am

siouxper wrote:That means you Kymmy, Hunter Lupe, Jasujo, Rune. It just happens to be the usernames of all the admins.

In other news today, please welcome our new administrating staff stepping in on Wednesday: Lupe Hunter, Myk, Enur, and Ojusaj.

(Hm, that might be a bit complicated. Maybe we'll just change names to Alice, Bob, Carol and David)

Christopher wrote:Bah, I only use the finest giant mutant hamsters. That way when I innevitably have to switch to child labour they'll fit in the wheels. It's called future proofing your organisation.

But they're monstorously expensive to replace, while our Redundant Array of Inexpensive Hamsters served us perfectly well thus far. Besides, weren't the mutated hamsters the reason your organization dispersed a year or two ago? Something about them running amock and killing everything?

Christopher · #10 Post by **Christopher** » Tue Jun 05, 2007 12:49 am

Hunter Lupe wrote:Something about them running amock and killing everything?

No, that would've been the rest of the upper leadership.

Uncle Xyzzy · #11 Post by **Uncle Xyzzy** » Tue Jun 05, 2007 1:23 am

Redundant array?

Redundant
Redundant
Redundant
Redundant
Redundant
Redundant
Redundant
Redundant
Redundant
Redundant
Redundant
Redundant
Redundant
Redundant
Redundant
Redundant
Redundant
Redundant

Um, I'll shut up now.

Matterbug · #12 Post by **Matterbug** » Tue Jun 05, 2007 1:33 am

What if this had happened in 2006? :OOO

:evil:

Christopher · #13 Post by **Christopher** » Tue Jun 05, 2007 1:56 am

Matterbug wrote:What if this had happened in 2006? :OOO

Then it would be the 6th of the 6th of 2006.

ZOmG 662006! The number of the lesser moderately demonic beast Gresnagobbler!

Uncle Xyzzy · #14 Post by **Uncle Xyzzy** » Tue Jun 05, 2007 2:07 am

662006 isn't nearly as bad as 662007, which isn't nearly as bad as 662008.

We really should have just done these things in 1 AD.

TDG · #15 Post by **TDG** » Tue Jun 05, 2007 3:30 am

Lies! He's remodelling the site to include a customization screen and ugly Arrow redraws! Alert the presses! Sound the alarm! Get Hun- *is gagged and dragged off*